1
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:07,163
Hello, testing. One, two...

2
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,414
Go-go juice.

3
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,586
- = hi.
- Or motion lotion.

4
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,176
Beaver. Female.

5
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:17,548
Welcome
to manned space exploration.

6
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:22,644
The Mercury spacecraft is
six feet in diameter and nine feet tall.

7
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,815
Cos I don't like your face.

8
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,316
Hey.

9
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,444
Hey, come 'ere.

10
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,738
I want...

11
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,079
I want you to see something.

12
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,379
Kurt's brain was just constantly
going.

13
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,098
He was always thinking about something.

14
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,434
I mean, there was always
something going on.

15
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You could just see it.

16
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,643
Party on, Wayne.

17
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It was awe-inspiring, but it was like,
"oh, well, I guess I'm not..." You know?

18
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,111
“I guess I'm not all that special.”

19
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,528
But, you know...
But then, as I grew up,

20
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I'm, like, I'm so glad I don't...
I never got that genius brain.

21
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:35,418
Maybe he just felt praise
was hard for him to take, maybe,

22
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and he didn't know how to handle that.

23
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So he would downplay it all the time.

24
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:44,393
But that was his goal,
was to get to as perfect as he could.

25
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,603
As good as he could get.

26
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:49,895
Write as well as he could,
sing as well as he could,

27
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play as well as he could.
And then when it all came together...

28
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It's so... I can't sit...
It's too painful.

29
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This is too painful.

30
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,374
You're gonna make it, man.

31
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:17,384
With the support of his friends
and family, he's gonna make it.

32
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,763
And you see the art,

33
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:25,305
I mean, a lot of his messages
are as plain as day.

34
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You just... I'm not even gonna say
what they are, but you can see it.

35
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And it's all there. And, you know,
in 20/20 hindsight, you're like,

36
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"oh, my god, why didn't I see that?"
Or, "I should've said something."

37
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,563
But, you know, it's like...

38
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,751
♪ Some say love

39
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:55,873
♪ itls ariver

40
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:27,033
♪ When I was an alien

41
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:32,125
♪ cultures weren't opinions

42
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,666
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

43
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,289
♪ when I'm there

44
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,792
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

45
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:40,963
♪ a better way

46
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:47,759
♪ never met a wise man

47
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:52,854
♪ if so, it's a woman

48
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:56,146
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

49
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,189
♪ when I'm there

50
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,107
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

51
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,523
♪ a better way

52
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,026
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

53
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,529
♪ when I'm there

54
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,156
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

55
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,955
♪ a better way

56
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,703
=
♪ Gotta find a way, a better way

57
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,331
♪ when I'm there

58
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,959
♪ gotta find a way, a better way

59
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:31,476
well, America was booming after
the war and everybody had everything.

60
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,063
Even if you didn't have much,
you still had enough.

61
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,896
Aberdeen was a logging town
and a mill town.

62
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,272
And it was booming.

63
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,069
♪ Wake up, little susie

64
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:50,322
you saw everybody downtown
paying their bills or shopping.

65
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,790
It was a lovely, awesome place
to raise children.

66
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,706
My kids loved that town.

67
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,079
♪ Wake up, little susie, and weep

68
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:03,255
♪ the movie's over, it's four o'clock
and we're in trouble deep

69
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,422
♪ wake up, little susie

70
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,591
♪ wake up, little susie

71
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:11,888
so, Don was working
at a gas station over in hoquiam.

72
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,931
You know, he had
the black horn-rimmed glasses

73
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,975
and his ears kind of stuck out a little

74
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:20,942
and he had the crew cut,
and that's not good on anybody.

75
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,732
I kind of helped him with everything.

76
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,025
He didn't really know
what he was doing with style.

77
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,529
I guess, like, we were more friends.

78
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,655
I didn't know what falling in love was,
so I had never experienced it.

79
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,077
So I just thought
because I liked him, I loved him.

80
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:39,249
And so he got me an engagement ring
and we got engaged.

81
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,541
You know, it was fun!

82
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,711
I mean, it was like, "ok,
all those problems are behind me."

83
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,505
“Now I'm gonna have babies!"

84
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,181
And I just couldn't wait
to get pregnant.

85
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,519
I mean, that was the goal.

86
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,481
And so I went to dr ehrhart
and he said, "you're so young."

87
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,647
"You just need to get... get on
your feet with being a housewife."

88
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,523
And, you know,
I just didn't listen to anybody.

89
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,285
I used to think,
"why did I marry Don cobain?"

90
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:16,407
And I was, like, no, everything
really did happen for a reason.

91
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,042
Kurt had to be born.
It was... it was a must.

92
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:49,740
He was the first grandchild
on both sides.

93
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,824
Everybody was coming over constantly.

94
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,662
I can't even describe
what a magnet he was.

95
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,530
People just came to him.

96
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:46,003
I was head over heels in love
with that child.

97
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:54,004
He was so kind
and so worried about people.

98
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,974
You know, if they were ok,
or if somebody got hurt.

99
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,684
And then, on top of that,

100
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,184
he started singing and playing guitar.

101
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,983
And once he could draw,
he drew all the time.

102
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:45,143
- Let's sing now, mom.
- Ok. Say who you are.

103
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,811
Who are you?

104
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,105
Who are you, Kurt?

105
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,195
Who are you? Who are you?

106
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:55,030
Goodbye! I'm Kurt cobain.

107
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:59,950
- Yay!
- Yay! Go! Go!

108
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:15,593
Kurt, he was full of energy.
Always busy.

109
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,260
And I had this old rocking chair
in the corner of the front room.

110
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,223
He'd be upside down

111
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,685
with his head hanging off
where your legs would be

112
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,772
and his feet up on the back
of the rocking chair

113
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,017
going 90 miles an hour in it.

114
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,940
Going so fast and it would be
hitting the back of the wall,

115
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:37,407
and he'd be repeating everything
verbatim off sesame street.

116
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,743
♪ Would you like to hear
my voice

117
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,113
♪ sprinkled with emotion

118
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,581
and I thought,
"before I have this next baby,

119
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,793
we've gotta try to get this one
to calm down."

120
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:52,164
So I take him to the paediatrician,
dr fulton.

121
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,339
He did a rapid eye movement test
with a flashlight in his eyes,

122
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,053
and he went,
"ok, we got trouble here."

123
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,851
And he said, "ok,
I'm gonna give you this tablet."

124
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:08,972
And I believe it was
something like ritalin.

125
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:14,103
So I gave it to him that night
and, oh, my god!

126
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,945
He just went off the rails.

127
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,240
♪ If I had to lose a mile

128
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,210
♪ if I had to touch feelings

129
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,872
♪ I would lose my soul

130
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,000
♪ ihe way I do

131
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,461
♪ I don't have fo think

132
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,305
♪ I only have to do it

133
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,851
♪ the results are always perfect

134
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:50,475
♪ and that's old news

135
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:54,192
♪ would you like to hear my voice

136
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,777
♪ sprinkled with emotion

137
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,192
Kurt, he was hyper.

138
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,112
Full of energy. Always busy.

139
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:06,159
You know, jumping off of things,
knocking things over.

140
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,249
Anything that had to do
with being a normal child.

141
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,710
And Don, he didn't know
how to handle that.

142
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,204
He was one of those kind of people

143
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,332
that just thought that children
should be seen and not heard

144
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,675
and shouldn't cause any trouble.

145
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,681
I mean, he belittled and ridiculed Kurt.

146
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,518
And Kurt would be ashamed.

147
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:36,898
I mean, it really hurt him
to be embarrassed.

148
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,632
Then, I don't know.

149
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,760
I just... I started to mature.

150
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,522
You know, I started getting older,
and kind of looking back at...

151
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,358
Kind of the song
that may have even stirred this in me,

152
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:18,943
is that all there is?

153
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,314
You know, is this my life?
I haven't done anything with my life.

154
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,743
In those days,
people didn't get divorced.

155
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,283
I mean, I didn't know anybody
that was divorced.

156
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,497
You just... you were in the soup.

157
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,617
You didn't think about divorce.

158
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,172
Kurt was nine at the time.

159
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,632
And everybody was talking about it.

160
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,966
It just embarrassed him to death
that we had gotten divorced.

161
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,270
He took light bulbs
out of all the lights

162
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:59,234
and locked the baby-sitter and Kim
outside and just became really unruly.

163
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,526
And I said, "this is not going
to happen any more."

164
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:07,446
And so I took him
over to his dad's house.

165
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,488
She couldn't handle him.

166
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,584
So, I took him.

167
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:20,376
I liked it, really,
you know, having him,

168
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,169
him and I together like that.

169
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,636
And I think there's one thing
that I said at one time

170
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:30,348
that I was never
gonna get married again.

171
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,933
And I think he took that for a word.

172
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,934
Then I met Jennifer and we got married

173
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:41,651
and, you know, he had a stepbrother
and a sister and then our son, Chad.

174
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:46,406
He wanted to be in a family, period.

175
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,822
And I felt that just from the beginning.

176
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:55,206
The game nights that we had,
that was really important to him.

177
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,997
You know, if we didn't want to do it
on a Wednesday night,

178
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,666
you know, he'd say,
"nope! We have to. That's what we..."

179
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:05,087
He just... I could feel that
he just really liked that time,

180
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,801
but he always wanted to win.

181
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,592
And if he didn't win, he was mad.

182
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,805
He wanted to be the most loved

183
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:21,399
and it just wasn't the ideal world
that he thought a family should be.

184
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:26,400
S50, he just decided he wasn't gonna do
anything anybody said.

185
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:30,529
He'd just lay on the couch and watch TV.

186
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,744
Go down in his room and play the guitar.

187
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,491
And then he started just doing
really mean things to the kids.

188
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,414
And then, it just got so...

189
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,753
I think it was kind of my fault in a way

190
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,419
because I couldn't deal
with it any more.

191
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,668
And I told Don he was
gonna have to get out of the house.

192
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,008
He went to Wendy's brother's
for a while.

193
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,762
And with my mom and dad,
he even lived with them for a while,

194
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:03,858
you know, then he'd come back to us
and still have problems.

195
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,692
It was like nobody...

196
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,689
After a couple of weeks,
they wanted him out.

197
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:14,736
I think the sad part of the whole thing

198
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:18,080
is that Kurt just really wanted
to be with his mom.

199
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:27,753
♪ Underneath the bridge

200
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,836
♪ ihe tarp has sprung a leak

201
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:36,554
♪ and the animals I've trapped

202
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:41,392
♪ have all become my pets

203
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:46,142
♪ and I'm living off of grass

204
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:51,948
♪ and the drippings from the ceiling

205
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,860
♪ it's ok to eat fish

206
00:15:55,997 --> 00:16:01,788
♪ cos they don't have any feelings

207
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,535
♪ something in the way

208
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:15,263
♪ Something in the way, yeah

209
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,225
♪ something in the way

210
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:33,190
♪ Something in the way, yeah

211
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,331
He just was in so much pain

212
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,748
that he, you know,
took it out on his mom

213
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,836
and took it out on his dad

214
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,081
and took it out on his siblings.

215
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,424
But it's almost like he didn't...

216
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:57,673
He didn't feel worthy
because he was rejected, basically.

217
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,220
And I don't know how anybody deals

218
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:04,141
with having your whole family
reject you.

219
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,718
♪ Like most babies smell like butter

220
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,470
♪ his smell smelled like no other

221
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,396
♪ he was born scentless and senseless

222
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,978
♪ he was born a scentless apprentice

223
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,837
♪ Go away

224
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:17,547
♪ get away

225
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,763
♪ go away

226
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:40,032
In a community that stresses
macho male sexual stories

227
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,402
as the highlight of all conversation,

228
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:46,281
I was an underdeveloped,
immature little dude that never got laid

229
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,203
and was constantly razzed.

230
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,164
Oh, poor little kid.

231
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,084
It bothered me, probably more so
because I was horny

232
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,457
and frequently
had to make up stories like,

233
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,085
"oh, when I went on vacation,
I met this chick

234
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:02,088
and we fucked and she loved it,"
etcetera, etcetera.

235
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,175
This typical pubescent problem

236
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,223
was an effector
in the height of my problems

237
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,142
with my father and stepmom.

238
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:14,017
You know, the typical
wicked-stepmom story.

239
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,485
And so, I moved to both grandparents'

240
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:20,698
and four sets of aunts' and uncles'
and so forth and so on within the year.

241
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,238
And in eighth grade, my mom
had no choice to take me in

242
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,907
because my dad packed my stuff

243
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,826
and drove me to her house in the morning
and left me there.

244
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,125
She was pissed.

245
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:36,464
I accumulated quite a healthy complex,
not to mention a complexion.

246
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:40,505
Then one day, I discovered the most
ultimate form of expression ever:

247
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:43,596
Marijuana. Oh, boy! Pot.

248
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:47,842
I could escape all day long and not have
routine nervous breakdowns.

249
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:05,117
Trevor was a guy I hated
but resorted to becoming friends with

250
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,703
because he was the only person
I could get pot from.

251
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,288
He was the kingpin.

252
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,374
Trevor, Ace, John and Darren,

253
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,791
all white-trash, lowlife scum
of the earth, according to the jocks,

254
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:19,791
had been going to this girl's house
after school, and they invited me.

255
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,543
We got to the door
and a very fat girl let us in.

256
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,716
It wasn't obvious to me
for over an hour

257
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,840
that this girl seemed kind of quiet

258
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,889
until one of the guys pointed out
that she was in a special ed class.

259
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:35,477
I'm sure a lot of kids would call her
a retard and some just slow,

260
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,976
and at the time, and still to this day,
I would call her quiet and illiterate

261
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,978
but not retarded.

262
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:44,448
The object of the guys who had been
going there for the past month

263
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,694
was to steal booze from the downstairs
basement den of her house.

264
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,120
While others distracted her,

265
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,332
one would go down and take a fifth
and then exit out the downstairs.

266
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,168
So we'd do this routine every other day

267
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,880
and got away with it
for, oh, about a month.

268
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,299
And during that month

269
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:05,261
happened to be the epitome
of my mental abuse from my mother.

270
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,883
It turned out that pot didn't help me
escape my troubles too well any more,

271
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,431
and I was actually enjoying
doing rebellious things

272
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:15,396
like stealing booze
and busting store windows,

273
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,730
and nothing ever mattered.

274
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,349
I decided within the next month,

275
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,602
I'll not sit on my roof
and think about jumping,

276
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:23,696
but I'll actually kill myself.
And I wasn't going out of this world

277
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,657
without actually knowing
what it was like to get laid.

278
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,657
So one day after school,
I went to the girl's house alone

279
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,375
and invited myself in
and she offered me some twinkies

280
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:39,041
and I sat on her lap
and I said, "let's fuck."

281
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:41,664
And I touched her tits
and she went into her bedroom

282
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,462
and got undressed in front of me,

283
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:46,176
and I watched and realised
that it was actually happening.

284
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,136
So I tried to fuck her
but didn't know how

285
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,597
and asked her
if she'd ever done this before.

286
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,308
And she said, "a lot of times,"
mainly with her cousin.

287
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,469
I got grossed out very heavily

288
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:59,474
with how her vagina smelled
and her sweat reeked, so I left.

289
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:02,192
My conscience grew to where
I couldn't go to school for a week,

290
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,404
and when I went back,
I got in-house suspension for skipping,

291
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,239
and that day, the girl's father came in

292
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:10,405
screaming and accusing someone
of taking advantage of his daughter.

293
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:14,747
And so during lunch, a rumour started,
and by the next day,

294
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,491
everyone was waiting for me
to yell and cuss and spit at me,

295
00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:20,165
calling me "the retard fucker".

296
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,585
I couldn't handle the ridicule,

297
00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:26,800
so I got high and drunk
and walked down to the train tracks

298
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,887
and laid down and put two big pieces
of cement on my chest and legs

299
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,506
and I waited for the 11 o'clock train.

300
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,302
And the train came closer
and closer and closer,

301
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:40,647
and it went on the next track
besides me instead of over me.

302
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,437
The tension from school
had an effect on me

303
00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,315
and the train scared me enough
to try to rehabilitate myself,

304
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:52,659
and my lifting weights and mathematics
seemed to be improving,

305
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,574
so I became less manically depressed,

306
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:57,699
but still never had any friends
because I...

307
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:01,293
I hated everyone,
for they were so phoney.

308
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:27,611
When Kurt was about 15,
he moved back in with mom and I.

309
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,355
It was a struggle.

310
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:31,857
You know, it was still him
wanting to rebel

311
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:35,111
and getting stoned
and going out with his friends

312
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:37,738
and not wanting to, you know, do chores

313
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:42,790
and, you know, he was always
wanting to, like, just do his own thing.

314
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,420
He wanted normalcy.

315
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:48,382
He wanted the mom, the dad
and the kids, and everything happy.

316
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:53,300
But then, he didn't,
cos he kinda fought against it.

317
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,844
So he fought against
what he really wanted.

318
00:23:57,019 --> 00:24:00,011
- Hello? Hello?
- You still there?

319
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,513
Yeah. I'm putting you
on speaker phone, though.

320
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:05,016
Ok. Are you recording this
or writing it down?

321
00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:06,813
Yeah, I'm recording and writing.

322
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:11,940
People don't realise
where we really came from, you know?

323
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:14,658
What an isolated hellhole it really is.

324
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:18,325
I mean, if witch burnings had been,
like, legal, we'd all be dead now.

325
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:19,947
- You know?
- Fuck, yeah.

326
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,624
Did you ever see that movie
over the edge?

327
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:24,334
- Yeah!
- I mean, god!

328
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,795
That movie had such an effect on me.

329
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:30,166
Ok, you guys. You are
to take these home to your parents.

330
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:32,884
It's to let them know about
a special emergency meeting

331
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,844
to discuss the problems
about you people.

332
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,054
I love that movie.

333
00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,143
I always wanted to do that
in front of you.

334
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,685
Me, too. I tried, you know.
I wanted to be a vandal,

335
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,897
and I wanted to hold everyone captive
in the school.

336
00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:47,391
Everybody that's ever messed
with me in one room.

337
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:49,735
That'd be just about everybody in town.

338
00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:52,063
We should go down there
and tell them all to go to hell.

339
00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:53,697
- Yeah!
- Come on, man!

340
00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,821
I don't know how many of us
are willing to admit

341
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:05,076
just how deep in trouble
some of the kids in this city are.

342
00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:13,001
Has anyone ever sat down
and talked to these kids?

343
00:25:13,095 --> 00:25:15,837
I talk to them six hours a day
until I'm blue in the face.

344
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,464
I spend more time
with your kids than you people do.

345
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,716
You think those kids
are interested in learning?

346
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:23,185
You ought to come in and see
what goes on in the classroom.

347
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,554
♪ Won't you believe it?
It's just my luck

348
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:34,025
♪ won't you believe it?
It's just my luck

349
00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,533
♪ no recess!

350
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:41,949
♪ No recess!

351
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,240
♪ No recess!

352
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,537
Most of the teachers, god...

353
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,207
The last couple of years of school
in the mid-eighties,

354
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:52,001
there was so much
Reagan propaganda going on.

355
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:55,547
This teacher would just
go off on it every day.

356
00:25:56,430 --> 00:25:59,422
Practise your piano.

357
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:02,265
You need practice on it.
= go to hell!

358
00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:04,430
Burn the place
to the fucking ground.

359
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,519
Yeah!

360
00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:08,309
♪ No recess!

361
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:12,351
♪ No recess!

362
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,816
♪ No recess!

363
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:17,564
High school's such
a worthless fucking nothing.

364
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,612
God, what torture, you know?

365
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,908
No, I quit the last two months
of school.

366
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,031
I was so withdrawn by that time,

367
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:28,000
and I was so antisocial
that I was almost insane, you know?

368
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:31,712
I felt so different and so crazy
that people just left me alone.

369
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,580
♪ No recess!

370
00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:49,730
Did Kurt find the underground

371
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:51,564
or did the underground find him?

372
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:55,774
I think he went in search of it
and I think they found each other.

373
00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:02,110
He was searching for whatever
made him feel like he wasn't alone

374
00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:04,032
and that he wasn't so different.

375
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:08,411
When did you first hear punk rock?

376
00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:11,957
You know, I'd wanted
to hear punk rock forever.

377
00:27:12,089 --> 00:27:15,081
Of course, they didn't have it
in our record shop in aberdeen.

378
00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:18,960
But then finally, buzz Osborne,
who'd been a friend of mine off and on,

379
00:27:19,096 --> 00:27:20,711
made me a couple of compilation tapes.

380
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:26,801
And I was completely blown away.

381
00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:30,562
I would lip sync
to those tapes and I wore them out

382
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:34,058
and I'd play them every day, you know.
It was the greatest thing.

383
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,612
It expressed the way
I felt socially and politically

384
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:43,984
and it was the anger
that I felt, the alienation.

385
00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:51,409
And I realised that this is
what I've always wanted to do.

386
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:03,220
♪ Fill me in on your new vision

387
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:06,215
♪ wake me up with indecision

388
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:09,184
♪ help me trust your mighty wisaom

389
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:12,646
♪ yes, I eat cow, I am not proud

390
00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:19,987
just the fact that we were
actually playing music live in a room,

391
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:23,733
it was amazing. It was, like, the most
incredible thing I've ever done.

392
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:27,694
♪ Easy in an easy chair

393
00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:30,285
♪ poop as hard as rock

394
00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:33,617
♪ I don't like you anyway

395
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:36,624
♪ seal it in a box

396
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:42,877
if we played together
in the house for a couple of hours

397
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:46,505
and if two people stopped by,
we considered that a gig, you know.

398
00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:48,382
A show. That was good enough.

399
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:50,850
We had an audience
of two people, you know.

400
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:54,346
Locals who hated our guts
and thought it was terrible music.

401
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:10,534
I think I was 18 or 19 years old
and Kurt was, like, 17.

402
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:15,534
But he liked punk rock music, and so
that, you know, piqued my interest.

403
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:18,875
And then I noticed
what a good artist he was.

404
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:22,374
And so he was working
at the time as a janitor,

405
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:25,674
but he'd always have to, like,
do some kind of art,

406
00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:28,013
usually defacing something.

407
00:29:28,642 --> 00:29:30,303
He never had, like, idle hands.

408
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,806
It just came out of him.
He had to express himself.

409
00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:40,692
Well, who taught you
how to play guitar anyway?

410
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:13,266
Brilliant.
Brilliant improvisational.

411
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:15,852
Wow, Jerry Garcia
would really like this.

412
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:18,181
- I'm gonna send him a tape.
- Send it to Jerry.

413
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:20,849
You just have to sprinkle it
with patchouli or something.

414
00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:22,567
He'll dig right into it.

415
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:35,698
Wait, wait, wait. Ready?

416
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:42,580
You alcoholics.
Film in the dark, you dick!

417
00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:08,397
♪ Pick me, pick me, yeah

418
00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:12,117
♪ live alone, lone single

419
00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:17,373
♪ at least, at least, yeah

420
00:31:17,501 --> 00:31:21,119
♪ everyone is hollow

421
00:31:21,254 --> 00:31:24,997
♪ at least, at least, yeah

422
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:28,170
♪ everyone is playing

423
00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:31,503
♪ pick me, pick me, yeah

424
00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:36,642
♪ you can even...

425
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:43,060
♪ Yeah

426
00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:46,026
♪ dive, dive, dive

427
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:50,693
♪ dive in me

428
00:31:51,076 --> 00:31:53,943
♪ dive, dive, dive

429
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:57,116
♪ dive in me

430
00:31:58,542 --> 00:32:00,453
♪ dive in me

431
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,831
♪ dive in me

432
00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:09,208
♪ dive in me

433
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:33,315
He really didn't want to live
with his mom or his dad.

434
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:35,192
He wanted to be on his own.

435
00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:38,286
So he moves into this dump.

436
00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:39,780
He wasn't making a lot of money,

437
00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:44,660
and I think he was scared,
not being able to pay his own way.

438
00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:49,961
And in the hallway outside the
apartment, it was completely graffitied.

439
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:52,926
Scooby doo. Rocky and bullwinkle.

440
00:32:53,054 --> 00:32:55,636
But it was pornographic.

441
00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:59,007
There was just no way he was
gonna be the nine-to-five work guy

442
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,886
that comes home with the briefcase
and wife cooks him dinner.

443
00:33:02,022 --> 00:33:04,229
I mean, that just wasn't ever
gonna happen.

444
00:33:04,357 --> 00:33:06,643
But he wanted some type of connection.

445
00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:08,687
This is love, this is love.

446
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:11,482
This is shitting and pissing
and fucking all over each other.

447
00:33:11,615 --> 00:33:13,355
Licking and spitting up
gerber baby food.

448
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:17,861
Not worrying if the plastic tarp
is on the floor cos, baby, this is love.

449
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:25,622
Well, I know some people
will say that...

450
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,915
That I treated Kurt maternally,
took care of him.

451
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:30,414
But I like to think it was more
I was trying to nurture him

452
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,040
rather than take care of him.

453
00:33:32,177 --> 00:33:34,589
Trying to nurture who he was
and get him to...

454
00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:36,677
Let him do his art,
let him do his music

455
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:40,390
and encourage him to get better
at it as opposed to trying to stifle it.

456
00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:42,851
But also not try to be the mom,

457
00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:48,019
but trying to be
a nurturing girlfriend or friend.

458
00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:54,238
We met at a party and, you know,
I liked him. I had a crush on him.

459
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,027
And then finally someone told him,

460
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:58,275
"don't you get that she likes you?"
Or something.

461
00:33:58,411 --> 00:34:00,072
Cos he was just kinda
clueless about it.

462
00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:14,424
I liked that he was funny.
He made me laugh.

463
00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:17,169
He wasn't afraid to be,
you know, goofy or silly.

464
00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:22,553
But mostly we just had
a good time hanging out.

465
00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:27,808
I think he might have been a bit angry
at the way he was treated at school

466
00:34:27,941 --> 00:34:30,523
and angry with his mom and with his dad.

467
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:36,237
I think it was not so much
that it was hard for him to accept love

468
00:34:36,366 --> 00:34:39,608
but the fact that maybe
he was afraid of getting hurt.

469
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:44,405
He was living in this tiny little house
in aberdeen.

470
00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:48,125
I just said, "why don't you just
move in with me and be in Olympia?"

471
00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:50,335
So we moved in together.

472
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,832
It was nice to have someone
to share the evening with

473
00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:56,708
as well as the daytime.

474
00:34:56,845 --> 00:34:59,336
Sitting on the couch at the same time,
each reading a book.

475
00:34:59,472 --> 00:35:01,337
It was just...
You kind of felt grown up

476
00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:04,136
as opposed to just being still,
you know, a teenager.

477
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:33,078
I'd like to think he was happy.

478
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:35,170
We were very much
in love with each other,

479
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:39,672
because he wanted to be a musician.

480
00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:42,136
He wanted, you know,
to get his band going.

481
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:45,678
He was ambitious. He didn't want to
just be playing in a bar band, you know,

482
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,768
and play music that way.
He wanted to be a success.

483
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,388
Good luck, good luck, man. Good luck.

484
00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:53,310
Part the red seas.

485
00:36:00,533 --> 00:36:01,864
Shut the fuck up!

486
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:15,458
♪ Bell on door clanks, come on in

487
00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:18,878
♪ Floyd observes my hairy chin

488
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:22,218
♪ sit down in the chair,
don't be afraid

489
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:25,680
♪ steamed hot towel on my face

490
00:36:27,894 --> 00:36:35,894
♪ I was shaved

491
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:49,367
♪ Barney ties me to the chair

492
00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:52,957
♪ I can't see, I'm really scared

493
00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:56,499
♪ Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip

494
00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:59,418
♪ pee-pee pressed against my lips

495
00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:10,846
♪ I was shamed

496
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:37,126
Ok, thanks,
everybody, for coming.

497
00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:59,140
When I met him,
he was a handyman.

498
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,438
And then he got a job as a janitor,

499
00:38:01,571 --> 00:38:05,530
cleaning, like, doctor's offices and
dentist's offices and things like that.

500
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:10,903
But, yeah, he just ended up
not having another job after that.

501
00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:14,827
- So who would support him?
- Me.

502
00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:19,081
And what would he do all day
while you were at work?

503
00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:22,172
It was funny cos sometimes he'd just
sit there and watch TV for four hours

504
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:23,710
and you'd think he wasn't creating,

505
00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:26,926
but he'd be playing guitar while he was
doing that or think up stuff later

506
00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:29,421
and then you'd go out for a few hours
and you'd come back

507
00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:32,674
and there was a painting on the wall or
there's a big comic strip or whatever;

508
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:35,427
he wrote a song, you know,
and recorded it.

509
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:41,900
Described them
arriving at this scene...

510
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:45,646
This is, like, fucking rad,
you know.

511
00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:48,945
Co0-0-0-0l.

512
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:53,577
Where's the m-m-m-m...

513
00:39:02,048 --> 00:39:05,131
♪ I could be a girl, she can breed me

514
00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:09,003
♪ I can be a boy, she could break free

515
00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:10,924
♪ I don't even care

516
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:12,342
♪ we could be all three

517
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:16,175
♪ she said

518
00:39:16,646 --> 00:39:20,264
warm babies on my cold feet

519
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,436
at the end of my bed.

520
00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:27,062
I want you to see something.

521
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,405
Shh! They're in the house.

522
00:39:29,534 --> 00:39:30,819
They're in the house.

523
00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:33,068
Some highlights follow,

524
00:39:33,204 --> 00:39:36,537
but we warn that viewers may find
parts of the footage disturbing.

525
00:39:36,666 --> 00:39:38,372
The object of the exercise

526
00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:41,334
is to observe the monster
for as long as possible.

527
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:44,750
♪ Think I'll go for a walk
outside now

528
00:39:44,883 --> 00:39:47,716
♪ ihe summer sun's calling my name

529
00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:55,177
♪ I hear you now, I just
can't stay inside all day, d-d-day

530
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:57,221
a person who is success-minded

531
00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:59,389
has a success consciousness and...

532
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:02,855
- ♪ Everybody's smiling
- ..Success awareness.

533
00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:04,690
♪ Into the sunshine

534
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:07,314
why is that so groovy?

535
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:23,580
♪ She should have been a son

536
00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:34,629
Hello?

537
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,763
No, she's not. She went to work.

538
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,681
Alright.

539
00:40:47,820 --> 00:40:49,185
Bass part.

540
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:56,360
♪ Na, na-na na, na-na na, na-na na

541
00:43:08,795 --> 00:43:10,581
A person who is success minded

542
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:14,376
has a success consciousness
and suc-suc-suc-suc-suc...

543
00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:17,341
Boy, am I gonna wake you up.

544
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:19,335
N-n-n-n-now c'mon.

545
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:22,555
You know this is really the best way
to start your day.

546
00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:25,595
Now don't think about anything else
but getting that body in shape

547
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:27,059
cos you deserve it.

548
00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:30,521
Now hold the stomach in. C'mon.
Gimme some good posture.

549
00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:33,517
Hold your head up high.
Tighten those buns.

550
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:38,113
Get ready because this is for you!

551
00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:52,126
♪ She said
she'd take me anywhere

552
00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:54,041
♪ she'd take me anywhere

553
00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,709
♪ as long as she stays with me

554
00:43:55,842 --> 00:43:57,924
♪ she said she'd take me anywhere

555
00:43:58,052 --> 00:43:59,633
♪ she'd take me anywhere

556
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:01,423
♪ as long as I stayed clean

557
00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:09,556
♪ kiss, kiss Molly's lips

558
00:44:14,610 --> 00:44:16,942
This song has two notes.

559
00:44:20,449 --> 00:44:22,064
That's it.

560
00:44:22,201 --> 00:44:24,658
This note and this note.

561
00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:38,248
♪ She said she'd take me anywhere

562
00:44:38,426 --> 00:44:39,757
♪ she'd take me anywhere

563
00:44:39,886 --> 00:44:41,547
♪ as long as she stays with me

564
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:44,045
♪ she said she'd take me anywhere

565
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:45,513
♪ she'd take me anywhere

566
00:44:45,641 --> 00:44:47,427
♪ as long as I stayed clean

567
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:55,560
♪ kiss, kiss Molly's lips

568
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:27,092
Look at these losers.

569
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,262
Bunch of
long-haired fuckin' sissies, man.

570
00:45:35,524 --> 00:45:37,264
Hi, my name is Dana.

571
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:41,895
I caught nirvana in their dressing room
on their recent tour.

572
00:45:42,031 --> 00:45:44,147
At what point
are you on this tour right now?

573
00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:47,320
We're at the point
of kicking each other's ass.

574
00:45:47,453 --> 00:45:50,411
I would imagine that the
constant party atmosphere on the road

575
00:45:50,539 --> 00:45:52,996
would create a great deal
of physical and mental stress.

576
00:45:53,125 --> 00:45:54,365
How do you deal with it?

577
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:58,211
We prepared for the rock
and roll lifestyle. We can kick it, man.

578
00:45:58,339 --> 00:46:01,251
You know what'? We should move in
our stuff before it starts raining.

579
00:46:01,384 --> 00:46:02,840
Yeah.

580
00:46:03,886 --> 00:46:07,629
A hundred percent humidity
here in fort worth, Texas.

581
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:09,630
Does success ever frighten you?

582
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,133
Go in the Van! Hey!

583
00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:15,228
No, because we actually want
to become more successful

584
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:17,597
so we can have a comfortable life.

585
00:46:22,571 --> 00:46:24,152
Ok, man. Take it away, buddy.

586
00:46:24,282 --> 00:46:28,241
Don't worry about me. I know this is
kind of a strange angle, but it'll work.

587
00:46:30,288 --> 00:46:34,622
Yes. That's a big camera, man.
That's not...

588
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:38,409
How would you describe the music
you play and the things you do?

589
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:41,754
Well, the things we do is just,

590
00:46:41,882 --> 00:46:46,000
we play a very powerful,
high-energy type of rock and roll.

591
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:49,971
We move around on stage a lot, and...

592
00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:53,591
Just scream with an abandon, I guess.

593
00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:55,559
What makes you
want to be nirvana?

594
00:46:55,688 --> 00:46:57,929
What makes us want to be nirvana?

595
00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:02,024
We're nirvana because
we're not aerosmith or something.

596
00:47:02,153 --> 00:47:05,896
Or the vegetables. Or...

597
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,065
What's the future of nirvana'?

598
00:47:09,201 --> 00:47:12,068
The future of nirvana? I don't know.

599
00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:14,445
Hopefully try to write
some more good songs.

600
00:47:14,582 --> 00:47:16,698
That's all we care about
is writing good music.

601
00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:20,497
If we get popular or not,
it doesn't matter.

602
00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:23,541
The music's more important.

603
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:26,791
We don't have
any more songs, so this is the last one.

604
00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:55,912
♪ Would you believe me when I tell you
you are the queen of my heart?

605
00:47:56,832 --> 00:47:59,869
♪ Please don't deceive me
when I hurt you

606
00:48:00,002 --> 00:48:02,539
♪ just ain't the way if seems

607
00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:12,215
♪ can you feel my love buzz?

608
00:49:05,025 --> 00:49:09,359
I remember the first review
nirvana ever got

609
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:12,980
was for the love buzz/big cheese
single we did,

610
00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:17,281
and it was in this hip magazine out of
Michigan these scenesters were doing,

611
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:19,074
and they gave us a bad review.

612
00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:22,539
They said it was like lynyrd skynyrd
but without the flares.

613
00:49:22,668 --> 00:49:26,206
Kurt was really hurt with that
and he was telling me that.

614
00:49:26,338 --> 00:49:28,875
He goes... and I said,
"don't worry about it."

615
00:49:29,008 --> 00:49:32,341
"That's just... they're just scenesters,
they're hipsters or..."

616
00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:34,131
You know, "screw them!” or whatever.

617
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:38,427
But, you know,
Kurt hated being humiliated.

618
00:49:38,559 --> 00:49:39,924
He hated it.

619
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:41,550
He hated it!

620
00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:46,932
If he ever thought he was humiliated,
then you'd see the rage come out.

621
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:50,351
And so he was also very careful about,

622
00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:54,777
and stubborn about how the way the art
and the work was presented

623
00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:56,695
because he didn't want to be humiliated.

624
00:49:56,827 --> 00:50:00,365
I could be humiliated, like...
I humiliate myself or whatever.

625
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:03,331
But not Kurt. No.

626
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:16,051
He had really violent dreams a lot.

627
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:18,637
People would be breaking
into his house, trying to kill him,

628
00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:19,926
and he'd have to stab them.

629
00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:22,659
Once in a while it might be
his family who was trying to kill him.

630
00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:24,180
But that was just really rare.

631
00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:27,931
Usually it was someone else
coming after him that he didn't know.

632
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:30,683
I asked... I thought
he should try to talk to someone,

633
00:50:30,819 --> 00:50:34,403
but without, you know, much money,
that really wasn't gonna happen.

634
00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:43,617
Kurt would get stomach aches a lot
and say his stomach hurt.

635
00:50:43,749 --> 00:50:46,286
You know, he'd be feeling fine
and then he'd get out of the car

636
00:50:46,418 --> 00:50:48,875
and just be, like, "I gotta throw up.”

637
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:53,293
I know he went to the doctor once
or twice, but it didn't really work.

638
00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:01,888
Most of the time,
I sing right from my stomach.

639
00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:04,429
Right where my stomach pain is.

640
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:09,430
Every time I've had an endoscope,
they'd find a red irritation.

641
00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,362
I would sing and cough up blood.

642
00:51:17,491 --> 00:51:20,107
It's, like, this is no way
to live a life.

643
00:51:20,244 --> 00:51:24,328
I love to play music
but something's not right.

644
00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:26,367
So I decided to medicate myself.

645
00:51:55,154 --> 00:51:57,110
How much of that pain would you
say

646
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,651
actually fuels what
you're writing and playing?

647
00:51:59,783 --> 00:52:01,569
See, that's a scary question

648
00:52:01,702 --> 00:52:05,615
because I think it probably helps,
you know.

649
00:52:05,748 --> 00:52:09,957
But I would give up everything
to have good health.

650
00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:15,625
But then again, I'm always afraid
that if I lost the stomach problem,

651
00:52:15,758 --> 00:52:18,670
I might not be as creative.

652
00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:24,054
There's a journal entry
where Kurt mentions doing heroin

653
00:52:24,183 --> 00:52:27,767
for the first time in 1987
when he was living with you.

654
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:32,437
He totally had kept that from me cos I
totally would've talked him out of it.

655
00:52:32,566 --> 00:52:35,023
In fact, he used to make fun
of some of the people in Seattle

656
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:38,315
that were using that
and say it was really stupid.

657
00:52:38,447 --> 00:52:41,405
Cos I've been told before that
he was doing it when we were dating,

658
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:45,196
but I'm, like,
he didn't do it around me, ever.

659
00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:47,911
I never found anything, so...

660
00:52:57,174 --> 00:52:58,960
I can't really say exactly
why we broke up.

661
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,799
I just know that we were fighting more

662
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:04,546
and he was staying away
from the house more.

663
00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:08,015
I think he just pretty much
didn't love me as much as he used to.

664
00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:12,307
Or felt... he just felt like maybe
he was moving ahead and I wasn't.

665
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:22,647
Kurt cobain"s here.

666
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:25,525
You know, Kurt cobain from aberdeen.

667
00:53:26,954 --> 00:53:30,242
- What's going on, baby?
- Not a damn thing.

668
00:53:30,374 --> 00:53:32,865
You called up and said,
"I wanna play some songs."

669
00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:35,242
So I said, "rockin' good news!"

670
00:53:35,379 --> 00:53:37,165
Bloody brilliant!

671
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:40,672
I just wrote most of the lyrics
this evening.

672
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:44,259
- In the car, on the way up here?
- While I was driving with one foot.

673
00:53:44,388 --> 00:53:47,505
- Uh-huh?
- Yeah, that's what I did.

674
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:50,508
I just thought
I would just come here and say hi.

675
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,430
Well, let her rip.

676
00:53:55,149 --> 00:53:58,437
Ok, is there any major-label
interest in you at the present?

677
00:53:58,569 --> 00:54:00,275
- Can you say?
- Not at the moment.

678
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:02,770
Anybody not affiliated with CBS.

679
00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:04,487
Would you consider changing?

680
00:54:04,616 --> 00:54:08,325
We're considering it because
we wanna get as much as we can.

681
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:12,155
Well, you're this interesting mix of,

682
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:14,657
as you say, you're one of
the laziest people you know,

683
00:54:14,793 --> 00:54:17,660
but you're also ambitious
for a lazy person.

684
00:54:17,796 --> 00:54:19,252
You think so?

685
00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:25,046
How does it feel to be
surrounded by so many people

686
00:54:25,179 --> 00:54:28,216
telling you that you soon
are doing very well?

687
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:32,466
I think it's embarrassing
to have so many expectations.

688
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:34,719
A totally superficial label
to put on a band,

689
00:54:34,855 --> 00:54:37,187
to state that
they're the next big thing.

690
00:54:37,316 --> 00:54:40,023
Because, you know,
that's not our goal in the first place.

691
00:54:40,152 --> 00:54:44,816
People are putting that tag on us
without us really wanting to do that.

692
00:54:44,948 --> 00:54:46,438
You're not prepared for that?

693
00:54:46,575 --> 00:54:49,408
Not prepared'? Nope.
Because we're not going to be.

694
00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:53,495
We're prepared to destroy our careers
if it happens.

695
00:54:57,252 --> 00:54:58,992
♪ I'm so happy

696
00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:02,747
♪ cos today I've found my friends

697
00:55:02,883 --> 00:55:04,874
♪ they're in my head

698
00:55:05,010 --> 00:55:06,796
♪ I'm so ugly

699
00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:10,717
♪ but that's ok, cos so are you

700
00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:12,510
♪ we've broken our mirrors

701
00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:14,554
♪ Sunday morning

702
00:55:14,686 --> 00:55:18,019
♪ is every day for all I care

703
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:20,480
♪ and I'm not scared

704
00:55:20,609 --> 00:55:22,440
♪ light my candles

705
00:55:22,569 --> 00:55:25,686
♪ in a daze cos I've found god

706
00:55:25,823 --> 00:55:33,823
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah

707
00:55:37,459 --> 00:55:45,459
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah

708
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:51,671
♪ yeah

709
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,638
♪ I'm so lonely

710
00:55:53,767 --> 00:55:57,351
♪ but that's ok, I shaved my head

711
00:55:57,479 --> 00:55:59,435
♪ and I'm not sad

712
00:55:59,565 --> 00:56:01,396
♪ and just maybe

713
00:56:01,525 --> 00:56:05,268
♪ I'm to blame for all I've heard

714
00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:06,860
♪ but I'm not sure

715
00:56:06,989 --> 00:56:08,024
♪ I'm so excited

716
00:56:08,156 --> 00:56:11,694
I am Kurt.
I play guitar and I sing.

717
00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:13,738
And I am Dave. And I play drums.

718
00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:16,362
And I sing sometimes but not that often.

719
00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:18,534
I'm Chris and I play bass.

720
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:19,998
And I don't sing, thank god!

721
00:56:20,335 --> 00:56:26,205
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

722
00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:29,504
alright, nirvana's joined us in
the studio tonight. New music hour.

723
00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:33,174
We've got krist novoselic,
we've got Kurt cobain and Dave grohl.

724
00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:37,016
Their upcoming release nevermind
comes out the 24th of this month,

725
00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:38,975
and you guys'll be doing an in-store

726
00:56:39,104 --> 00:56:41,891
at the beehive music and video
in the university district.

727
00:56:42,024 --> 00:56:44,686
So go out, meet the band.
That's at seven to nine.

728
00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:49,646
♪ I like it, I'm not gonna crack

729
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:53,490
♪ I miss you, I'm not gonna crack

730
00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:57,453
♪ I love you, I'm not gonna crack

731
00:56:57,581 --> 00:57:01,324
♪ I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

732
00:57:01,460 --> 00:57:05,203
♪ I like it, I'm not gonna crack

733
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:09,127
♪ I miss you, I'm not gonna crack

734
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:13,047
♪ I love you, I'm not gonna crack

735
00:57:13,180 --> 00:57:19,767
♪ I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

736
00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:32,070
End of July or August,
he's home.

737
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:35,236
And he comes downstairs
and he's in his little whitey tighties.

738
00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:37,405
No shirt. Barefoot.

739
00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:41,701
No pants other than his undies and...
Very Don cobain.

740
00:57:41,833 --> 00:57:43,824
That's another thing
I got sick of looking at.

741
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:46,828
And he's standing there with this tape
in his hand. I go, "what's that?"

742
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:49,956
And he goes, "it's the master cut
to my new album.”

743
00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:51,298
“Can I put it on the stereo?"

744
00:57:51,426 --> 00:57:53,382
And I go,
"yeah! And turn it up! Up, up, up."

745
00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:55,503
Because I listen to music really loud.

746
00:57:55,639 --> 00:57:59,131
And I look at him
and I go, "oh, my god!"

747
00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:01,633
"Oh, my god!" And I almost start crying.

748
00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:06,730
I mean, not from happiness.
From fear. It was fear.

749
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:14,155
And I just went,
"this is going to change everything."

750
00:58:14,992 --> 00:58:21,283
And I said, "you better buckle up,
cos you are not ready for this."

751
00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:32,881
And for someone like yourself,
when you're, sort of,

752
00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:34,420
let's say your dreams come true,

753
00:58:34,553 --> 00:58:37,295
all the worst aspects of them
come true as well.

754
00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:41,094
It's, like, be careful what
you wish for. You're gonna get it.

755
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:42,261
Yeah.

756
00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:46,763
How do you sort of deal
with the pull-apart;

757
00:58:46,898 --> 00:58:49,435
you know, being pulled apart
by stuff like that?

758
00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:53,022
I don't know if I expressed
that the right way or not.

759
00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:54,645
Well...

760
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,106
Er...

761
00:59:03,915 --> 00:59:07,954
♪ Load up on guns

762
00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:10,577
♪ bring your friends

763
00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:14,081
♪ it's fun to lose

764
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:17,584
♪ and to pretend

765
00:59:17,721 --> 00:59:20,963
♪ she's over-bored

766
00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:24,432
♪ and self-assured

767
00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:31,433
♪ oh no, I know a dirty word

768
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:35,106
♪ hello, hello

769
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:38,776
♪ hello, how low?

770
00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:42,527
♪ Hello, hello

771
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:46,075
♪ hello, how low?

772
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:50,827
♪ Hello, hello

773
00:59:51,171 --> 00:59:54,663
♪ with the lights out

774
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,258
♪ it's less dangerous

775
00:59:58,386 --> 01:00:01,719
♪ here we are now

776
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:05,261
♪ entertain us

777
01:00:05,393 --> 01:00:08,806
♪ I feel stupid

778
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:12,397
♪ and contagious

779
01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:15,893
♪ here we are now

780
01:00:16,029 --> 01:00:19,521
♪ entertain us

781
01:00:19,658 --> 01:00:23,116
♪ a mulatto

782
01:00:23,245 --> 01:00:26,829
♪ an albino

783
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:30,541
♪ a mosquito

784
01:00:30,669 --> 01:00:34,457
♪ my libido

785
01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:42,589
♪ a denial

786
01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:06,659
Ok, and cut.

787
01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:09,787
Alright, that's a wrap.

788
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:28,345
Hey, man, if this bird goes down,
this is the safest place to be.

789
01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:31,968
Right in the tail,
where the bathroom is.

790
01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:35,184
As soon as you walked on this plane

791
01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:38,980
I took one gander at you
and I saw nothing but trouble.

792
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,068
Ha! Bah!

793
01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:42,688
See if you can try and do it.

794
01:01:42,824 --> 01:01:47,033
Me and my sidekick tree frog Johnson
here is gonna rip you a new butthole.

795
01:01:47,245 --> 01:01:50,032
- Is this time our time?
- What a sensitive man.

796
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:52,497
Cos it says it's, like,
almost three in the morning.

797
01:01:52,626 --> 01:01:55,117
Time flies
when you're having fun.

798
01:02:18,526 --> 01:02:20,482
♪ I don't care,
I don't care, I don't care

799
01:02:20,612 --> 01:02:24,104
♪ I don't care, care, care if it's old

800
01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:26,277
♪ I don't mind,
I don't mind, I don't mind

801
01:02:26,409 --> 01:02:29,867
♪ I don't mind, mind, don't have a mind

802
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:32,078
♪ get away, get away, get away

803
01:02:32,207 --> 01:02:35,620
♪ get away, away, away from your home

804
01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:37,834
♪ I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid

805
01:02:37,963 --> 01:02:41,046
♪ I'm afraid, afraid of a ghost

806
01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,539
♪ even if you have

807
01:02:42,676 --> 01:02:43,711
♪ even if you need

808
01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:45,333
♪ I don't mean to stare

809
01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:47,006
♪ we don't have to breed

810
01:02:47,138 --> 01:02:48,423
♪ we could plant a house

811
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:49,966
♪ we could build a tree

812
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:51,465
♪ I don't even care

813
01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,683
♪ we could have all three, she said

814
01:02:53,812 --> 01:02:54,847
99 x.

815
01:02:54,980 --> 01:02:56,936
That nirvana stuff
you played last night?

816
01:02:57,065 --> 01:03:00,057
If I wanted to request one
of their songs now, could you play it?

817
01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:03,105
You don't have any bootleg cds
of nirvana?

818
01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:04,853
Could you play some nirvana?

819
01:03:04,990 --> 01:03:07,356
Right here, a world premiere video
from nirvana.

820
01:03:07,492 --> 01:03:08,698
Smells like teen spirit.

821
01:03:10,662 --> 01:03:11,993
♪ Even if you have

822
01:03:12,122 --> 01:03:13,487
♪ even if you need

823
01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:14,988
♪ I don't mean to stare

824
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:16,615
♪ we don't have to breed

825
01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:17,957
what do we say?

826
01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:20,828
We're nirvana
and this is the week in rock.

827
01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:25,506
Hey, all you people
staying up late on a Sunday night.

828
01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:27,546
Slack off! You don't need your job.

829
01:03:27,679 --> 01:03:31,592
Don't say, "yes, sir. Yes, ma'am.”
say, "cram it!"

830
01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:34,842
Don't show up tomorrow,
call in sick, cos this is nirvana,

831
01:03:34,978 --> 01:03:37,310
and you're watching...
= 120 minutes.

832
01:03:37,439 --> 01:03:40,055
- On...
- Mttv.

833
01:03:51,619 --> 01:03:52,859
♪ Even if you have

834
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:54,327
♪ even if you need

835
01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:55,821
♪ I don't mean to stare

836
01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:57,242
♪ we don't have to breed

837
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:58,740
♪ we could plant a house

838
01:03:58,877 --> 01:04:00,208
♪ we could build a tree

839
01:04:00,337 --> 01:04:01,668
♪ I don't even care

840
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:04,378
♪ we could have all three, she said

841
01:04:04,507 --> 01:04:08,758
♪ she said

842
01:04:08,887 --> 01:04:12,004
the hottest new rock band in the country
right now may well be nirvana.

843
01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:13,721
The hottest band at the moment.

844
01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:16,011
The band it seems
everybody's talking about.

845
01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:19,102
People, like, really seem
to be getting into nirvana right now.

846
01:04:19,230 --> 01:04:20,830
Do you see when you go out
and play shows

847
01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:22,680
that the crowds are getting different?

848
01:04:22,817 --> 01:04:26,685
- Isn't it pretty overwhelming?
- Everybody wants to be hip.

849
01:04:26,821 --> 01:04:29,563
- And so that's what it is, then?
- Everyone wants to be accepted.

850
01:04:52,597 --> 01:04:55,304
Yeah? Ok. Cool.

851
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:59,051
I've just heard that you've sold
600,000 albums in the United States.

852
01:04:59,187 --> 01:05:01,223
Does that make it platinum,
something like that?

853
01:05:01,356 --> 01:05:02,892
It makes it gold.

854
01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:05,891
It makes it a free gift
to my mother for Christmas.

855
01:05:06,027 --> 01:05:07,688
- Exactly!
- Don't have to pay for a gift.

856
01:05:07,821 --> 01:05:10,984
What's mom getting for Christmas?
I guess she's getting a gold record.

857
01:05:11,116 --> 01:05:13,482
Does that mean you guys
are, like, rich now?

858
01:05:13,618 --> 01:05:18,658
Hell, no! We're so far
from having any money.

859
01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:21,372
I mean, we get per diem, I guess.

860
01:05:21,501 --> 01:05:23,332
Do you care what critics think?

861
01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:25,998
I've never heard as many
sort of glowing criticism...

862
01:05:26,131 --> 01:05:29,339
- Oh, glowing!
- Does that make you feel good?

863
01:05:29,467 --> 01:05:33,335
Well, I mean, it's better
than being slammed, that's for sure.

864
01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:34,506
But, you know,

865
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:38,177
if I was reading the same thing about
another band, I wouldn't believe it.

866
01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:39,344
No way.

867
01:05:39,477 --> 01:05:41,468
I'm not gonna believe some journalist

868
01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:47,941
that's just spewing about some band
that he thinks changed his life or...

869
01:05:48,987 --> 01:05:50,648
You can't believe everything you read.

870
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:54,568
I mean, all you have to do is...
Music is a personal experience.

871
01:05:54,701 --> 01:05:58,410
You put the music on
and whatever you get out of it,

872
01:05:58,538 --> 01:05:59,869
you know, if it's good or bad.

873
01:05:59,998 --> 01:06:03,365
If it's bad, you don't like it,
you just walk away from it, you know.

874
01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:05,787
And if it's good, it works for you...

875
01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:09,455
- You know this lighter...
- What the hell.

876
01:06:15,597 --> 01:06:18,134
There are probably a lot of kids
who hear your songs

877
01:06:18,266 --> 01:06:21,508
and actually feel, like, kinship,

878
01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:24,807
whether you're having trouble
with parents or with school

879
01:06:24,939 --> 01:06:28,397
or, you know, the usual
dysfunctional stuff that happens.

880
01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:29,766
But when you're up there,

881
01:06:29,903 --> 01:06:32,565
do you have any sense
of who you're playing to?

882
01:06:32,697 --> 01:06:35,279
I'm playing to kids in general.

883
01:06:35,408 --> 01:06:38,491
I mean, it doesn't matter
where they come from.

884
01:06:38,620 --> 01:06:40,281
We have the same problems

885
01:06:40,413 --> 01:06:43,530
and we all basically have
the same thoughts, you know?

886
01:06:58,681 --> 01:07:02,139
♪ One baby to another says

887
01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:05,852
♪ I'm lucky to have met you

888
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:08,722
♪ I don't care what you think

889
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:11,770
♪ unless it is about me

890
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:19,066
♪ it is now my duty
to completely drain you

891
01:07:19,994 --> 01:07:22,576
♪ I travel through a tube

892
01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:25,492
♪ and end up in your infection

893
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:30,831
♪ chew your meat for you

894
01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:34,252
♪ pass it back and forth

895
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:37,751
♪ in a passionate kiss

896
01:07:37,887 --> 01:07:40,549
♪ from my mouth to yours

897
01:07:40,682 --> 01:07:42,889
♪ I like you

898
01:07:43,017 --> 01:07:46,054
you guys don't like explaining
anything to do with your music.

899
01:07:46,187 --> 01:07:48,348
What's the problem
with going on camera and just...

900
01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:50,893
There's nothing to be said.
It's all in the music, man.

901
01:07:51,025 --> 01:07:53,141
It's all in the music.
It's all in the meat!

902
01:07:53,278 --> 01:07:55,564
You don't think that people
that are fans of you

903
01:07:55,697 --> 01:07:58,905
would like to hear what you had
in mind, maybe? Or what you were...

904
01:07:59,033 --> 01:08:01,775
I'd rather hear what they
have in mind, you know?

905
01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:03,617
Like, how they interpret it.

906
01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:09,791
In teen spirit,
you seem to complain

907
01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:11,830
about the apathy of our generation.

908
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:14,750
And do you share
this lack of engagement yourself?

909
01:08:14,882 --> 01:08:17,168
- What, being apathetic?
- Yeah.

910
01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:20,169
- Sure.
- Why?

911
01:08:20,305 --> 01:08:24,264
Why? Because we sleep too much.

912
01:08:28,229 --> 01:08:32,063
- I mean, just say it.
- Just read it.

913
01:08:32,650 --> 01:08:34,857
Hello! Stay tuned for more...

914
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:40,231
Ew, nirvana on abc in concert!

915
01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:42,027
- You want to do more?
- One more?

916
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:43,320
Yeah, do one more.

917
01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:53,330
♪ With eyes so dilated

918
01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:56,170
♪ I've become your pupil

919
01:08:57,425 --> 01:09:00,542
♪ you've taught me everything

920
01:09:00,678 --> 01:09:04,421
probably the biggest band in the world
right now, please welcome nirvanal

921
01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:05,967
nirvana are real.

922
01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:08,842
There's nothing pretentious about them
or anything like that.

923
01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:12,141
They're world famous, you know.
Everyone wants to see nirvana.

924
01:09:12,273 --> 01:09:14,559
Kurt cobain, he's so beautiful!

925
01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:18,818
♪ Sloppy lips to lips

926
01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:21,528
♪ you're my vitamins

927
01:09:21,658 --> 01:09:24,946
♪ I like you

928
01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:30,405
interviews are worthless! Let's go!

929
01:09:30,541 --> 01:09:33,624
- What do you think about interviews?
- What do I think?

930
01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:36,369
Did you hear my reaction when
he asked me if I wanted to do one?

931
01:09:36,506 --> 01:09:39,464
- Yes.
- I said, "'- - - - no."

932
01:09:52,980 --> 01:09:54,845
I'm a hardcore nirvana fan myself.

933
01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:57,724
Yeah? Is this a disease
you've had long? Any cure for it?

934
01:09:57,860 --> 01:09:59,725
He's talking
from his experiences.

935
01:09:59,862 --> 01:10:01,568
He's talking
from his experience?

936
01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:04,418
- Well, he's got lousy experience, sir.
- It was not his goal

937
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:07,613
to make millions of dollars when he made
the stuff. He's writing about his life.

938
01:10:07,745 --> 01:10:10,327
Well, his life needs to see
a therapist or a minister,

939
01:10:10,456 --> 01:10:12,868
and it doesn't need to be
on millions of cds

940
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,865
for kids to listen to and identify with

941
01:10:15,002 --> 01:10:18,119
and have more of their despair
and their hopelessness emphasised

942
01:10:18,256 --> 01:10:20,121
by the tragedy of this man's life.

943
01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:12,014
I guess each individual
is gonna deal with it

944
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:15,135
the way they're gonna deal with it.
I get, you know...

945
01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:17,933
It was kind of traumatic
to be famous all of a sudden,

946
01:11:18,065 --> 01:11:20,681
especially coming from
this complete obscurity

947
01:11:20,818 --> 01:11:23,355
and just being the, like,
number-one band in the world.

948
01:11:23,488 --> 01:11:26,651
So I do things like withdraw,
drink, you know.

949
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:31,903
I'm lucky. I had beer and wine,
you know. Kurt had heroin.

950
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:38,036
Given how volatile and
complicated

951
01:11:38,169 --> 01:11:41,002
things were for Kurt around that time,

952
01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:46,090
why do you think he chose that moment
to start his relationship with Courtney?

953
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:52,221
I went... I had this relationship
with this person, this woman.

954
01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:56,639
And I just kind of wanted
to build this home for myself,

955
01:11:56,771 --> 01:12:01,390
cos my home, growing up,
had fallen apart,

956
01:12:01,526 --> 01:12:02,857
so I wanted to build a home.

957
01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:06,193
And I think that Kurt
wanted to do that, too.

958
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:10,816
He wanted to build a home because
his home and his family fell apart.

959
01:12:10,952 --> 01:12:15,491
So when Courtney
came into his life, they had...

960
01:12:15,623 --> 01:12:19,866
She was interesting,
she was artistic, intellectual.

961
01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:22,368
And, you know, she did drugs, too.

962
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:27,169
But that was all part
of the package of building a home.

963
01:12:30,388 --> 01:12:33,630
Check, check, check,
check, check, check, check.

964
01:12:33,766 --> 01:12:36,599
Let's watch their sound check, shall we?

965
01:12:36,727 --> 01:12:40,390
Maybe it'll bug them
and they'll play really bad.

966
01:12:42,817 --> 01:12:48,904
So you're having a relationship
with the guitar player? No?

967
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:52,319
It was a short love affair?

968
01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:56,694
I don't know what it was. Honestly.

969
01:12:56,831 --> 01:13:00,164
- It's over?
- I think, yeah.

970
01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:04,502
- What happened?
- I don't care.

971
01:13:11,304 --> 01:13:13,511
We're making a movie.

972
01:13:13,639 --> 01:13:16,176
- Did you curl your hair?
- You don't like it?

973
01:13:16,309 --> 01:13:17,890
It's nicer when it's straight

974
01:13:18,019 --> 01:13:20,010
because it doesn't make your face
look so round.

975
01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:21,932
Oh, my god!

976
01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:24,472
Hello?

977
01:13:24,609 --> 01:13:28,022
How is it on stage?
Is it clear on stage?

978
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:44,413
♪ Now, if she ever comes down
now

979
01:13:44,545 --> 01:13:46,536
♪ if she ever comes down now

980
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:49,334
♪ if she ever comes now

981
01:13:49,467 --> 01:13:52,880
♪ now, if she ever comes down now

982
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:54,923
♪ if she ever comes down now

983
01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:57,593
♪ if she ever comes now

984
01:13:57,725 --> 01:14:01,684
♪ aah, she looks so good

985
01:14:01,812 --> 01:14:04,849
♪ aah, she's made out of wood

986
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:08,190
♪ she says, "oh"

987
01:14:27,296 --> 01:14:29,457
He was super cute,

988
01:14:29,590 --> 01:14:32,081
but he carried himself
like someone who didn't know that.

989
01:14:32,218 --> 01:14:33,583
And that was part of the charm.

990
01:14:34,428 --> 01:14:38,592
He didn't know that he was
a better-looking guy than Brad Pitt.

991
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:41,386
We got on like a house on fuckin' fire.

992
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:48,766
One caveat. I had already done heroin,
beat the thing, had a rule,

993
01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:52,485
I loved it still, but I didn't have
a fantasy that he had.

994
01:14:52,613 --> 01:14:54,604
He had a fantasy. His fantasy was,

995
01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:58,198
“I'm gonna get to three million dollars,
then I'm gonna be a junkie.”

996
01:14:58,327 --> 01:15:00,909
That was his... those are his words.

997
01:15:17,763 --> 01:15:20,630
♪ Come as you are

998
01:15:20,766 --> 01:15:22,631
♪ as you were

999
01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:26,135
♪ as I want you to be

1000
01:15:26,689 --> 01:15:30,639
♪ as a friend

1001
01:15:30,776 --> 01:15:34,610
♪ as an old enemy

1002
01:15:34,739 --> 01:15:38,482
♪ lake your time, hurry up

1003
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:40,357
♪ ihe choice is yours

1004
01:15:40,494 --> 01:15:42,359
♪ don't be late

1005
01:15:42,496 --> 01:15:45,829
there he is,
he's against the wall. Oh, my god!

1006
01:15:45,958 --> 01:15:48,574
He's totally trapped back there.

1007
01:15:51,380 --> 01:15:53,041
Is it fun to be famous?

1008
01:15:53,174 --> 01:15:55,460
People who are really famous

1009
01:15:55,593 --> 01:15:57,879
end up total recluses

1010
01:15:58,012 --> 01:16:01,800
and they don't do anything. That sucks.

1011
01:16:02,683 --> 01:16:07,894
♪ And I swear that I don't have a gun

1012
01:16:08,022 --> 01:16:15,811
♪ no, I don't have a gun

1013
01:16:46,977 --> 01:16:54,977
♪ Memoria

1014
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:08,533
♪ And I swear that I don't have a gun

1015
01:17:08,666 --> 01:17:16,666
♪ no, I don't have a gun

1016
01:17:49,456 --> 01:17:52,198
The money,
the attention, the hype.

1017
01:17:52,334 --> 01:17:54,165
Kurt cobain,
an overnight spokesman

1018
01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:55,785
for many disaffected young people.

1019
01:17:55,921 --> 01:17:57,877
A spokesman for a generation.

1020
01:17:58,007 --> 01:18:00,727
To his generation, he's
the closest they have to John Lennon.

1021
01:18:00,843 --> 01:18:04,961
The money, the attention,
the hype, the hysteria.

1022
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:13,685
It's not my fault.
I never wanted the fame.

1023
01:19:22,508 --> 01:19:25,090
Seattle's own nirvana
finds itself at the very top

1024
01:19:25,219 --> 01:19:28,302
of billboard's pop albums chart
with its album nevermind,

1025
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:31,922
while guitarist Kurt cobain
just got engaged to Courtney love,

1026
01:19:32,059 --> 01:19:34,641
front woman of an la band called hole.

1027
01:19:35,187 --> 01:19:36,677
According to rolling stone,

1028
01:19:36,814 --> 01:19:40,352
cobain fell ill with a stomach problem
during their tour of four continents

1029
01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:42,770
and had to cancel
a number of dates in england.

1030
01:19:42,903 --> 01:19:45,269
There's been speculation
of summer tour plans,

1031
01:19:45,406 --> 01:19:48,364
but so far only the next
reading festival in August.

1032
01:19:48,492 --> 01:19:50,983
Nirvana is now retreating
from doing interviews.

1033
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:53,031
Whether it's a reaction
to too much too soon,

1034
01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:55,575
the band would rather
their music speak for itself

1035
01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:58,040
than be knighted
as spokesmen for a generation.

1036
01:20:00,087 --> 01:20:02,248
Right after you guys got
married,

1037
01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:06,169
they were the biggest band in the world,
and Kurt decided to take six months off.

1038
01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:10,671
So, officially, in the story
that's out in the world,

1039
01:20:10,806 --> 01:20:13,798
he took six months off
of their touring schedule?

1040
01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:16,801
He could've toured the world
and made a shitload of money.

1041
01:20:16,937 --> 01:20:17,937
Oh, I see.

1042
01:20:18,063 --> 01:20:21,143
It seemed he wanted to stay
in an apartment with you and do heroin.

1043
01:20:21,233 --> 01:20:24,225
Yeah, he wanted to stay in an apartment
and do heroin and paint.

1044
01:20:24,361 --> 01:20:27,398
And play his guitar.
That's what he wanted to do.

1045
01:20:40,419 --> 01:20:42,034
Hi.

1046
01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:48,833
Hi.

1047
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:04,557
This is our house.
This is where we live.

1048
01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:07,526
I know it looks disgusting now,
but sometimes it's nice.

1049
01:21:07,654 --> 01:21:10,771
I have to really clean it,
cos no one else fucking does.

1050
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:13,399
Ok, this is the toilet.

1051
01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:15,150
This is...

1052
01:21:15,913 --> 01:21:17,619
- This is me.
- Courtney.

1053
01:21:17,748 --> 01:21:20,740
- Hello?
- Do we have a Turkey baster?

1054
01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:23,913
What?

1055
01:21:24,046 --> 01:21:28,130
Why do you think that everyone thinks
you're the good one and I'm the bad one?

1056
01:21:28,258 --> 01:21:31,091
Because I know
how to use my illusion.

1057
01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:33,711
Where are you going?

1058
01:21:33,847 --> 01:21:39,763
I'm going into my living room!
I paid for this.

1059
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,635
Put on the dancing merry chimp!

1060
01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:49,773
So is this the living room that that guy
described in rolling stone magazine?

1061
01:21:49,905 --> 01:21:54,524
Nothing but a twin reverb amp
and Teddy bears to keep him company.

1062
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:58,111
- Where's Eric?
- The chimp.

1063
01:22:00,207 --> 01:22:02,744
Hi, honey.

1064
01:22:02,876 --> 01:22:05,083
- Hi.
- I love you, love.

1065
01:22:05,212 --> 01:22:08,204
You are so cute.
Here, Eric, you film for a while.

1066
01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:12,549
This is the Kurt cobain action figure.

1067
01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:15,711
Secret coded message
in his guitar.

1068
01:22:15,848 --> 01:22:19,136
Kurt, I think he looks remarkably
a lot like you. Look at that.

1069
01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:20,974
I've had that
since I was a child.

1070
01:22:21,103 --> 01:22:25,722
And he's playing what looks
to be a sort of mosrite-y, vintage...

1071
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:28,395
Come into the breakfast nook!

1072
01:22:57,681 --> 01:23:00,263
Are you filming us? = uh-huh.

1073
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:05,974
♪ She gives me everything

1074
01:23:06,940 --> 01:23:10,774
♪ and tenderly

1075
01:23:11,987 --> 01:23:16,230
♪ ihe kiss my lover brings

1076
01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:20,192
♪ she brings to me

1077
01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:23,742
♪ and I love her

1078
01:23:26,919 --> 01:23:31,379
♪ brignt are the stars that shine

1079
01:23:31,924 --> 01:23:35,587
♪ dark is the sky

1080
01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:41,130
♪ I know this love of mine

1081
01:23:41,850 --> 01:23:44,887
♪ will never die

1082
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:48,353
♪ and I love her

1083
01:23:51,985 --> 01:23:55,853
♪ a jove like ours

1084
01:23:56,615 --> 01:24:00,403
♪ will never die

1085
01:24:01,537 --> 01:24:07,783
♪ as long as I hold you near me

1086
01:24:24,351 --> 01:24:26,216
Did you guys want to have a
baby?

1087
01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:27,763
Oh, god, yes.

1088
01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:32,139
Yes, we wanted to have a baby.
And I conceived Frances in December.

1089
01:24:32,276 --> 01:24:34,813
So I was pregnant
when I got married, yes.

1090
01:24:34,945 --> 01:24:35,980
We were all we had,

1091
01:24:36,113 --> 01:24:41,608
so making a family as fast as possible
was, you know, important. You know?

1092
01:24:41,743 --> 01:24:44,610
So, I mean, if I had had more time,

1093
01:24:44,746 --> 01:24:47,909
I'm telling you, I'd have
had more kids with him.

1094
01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:51,537
Why do you feel so bad?

1095
01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,503
- Why?
- Uh-huh.

1096
01:24:56,592 --> 01:25:01,052
Because I want to.
It's my fault.

1097
01:25:01,179 --> 01:25:05,263
- All my fault.
- You're beautiful.

1098
01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:07,508
- 1 think you're really cute.
- Thank you.

1099
01:25:07,644 --> 01:25:12,934
So do a lot of
sassy readers. I married Bobby sherman.

1100
01:25:13,066 --> 01:25:14,852
Do you think they do this to me?

1101
01:25:14,985 --> 01:25:15,985
What?

1102
01:25:16,111 --> 01:25:18,944
Do you think they do this to me
when they read sassy?

1103
01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:24,278
Girls don't masturbate
over their teen idols.

1104
01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:25,411
They don't?

1105
01:25:25,537 --> 01:25:28,574
No. They make up
more intricate, schematic plans.

1106
01:25:28,707 --> 01:25:30,948
Girls are a lot more complex than boys.

1107
01:25:31,084 --> 01:25:32,870
You don't know what girls do
to each other.

1108
01:25:33,003 --> 01:25:34,868
- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't.

1109
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:36,005
They're vicious.

1110
01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:38,372
It's, like, you can know
about crafty girls all you want,

1111
01:25:38,508 --> 01:25:41,796
but I wouldn't let you
go on tour with crafty girls

1112
01:25:41,928 --> 01:25:44,419
because fucking
doesn't fucking matter, man.

1113
01:25:44,556 --> 01:25:46,387
They... they...

1114
01:25:49,061 --> 01:25:53,020
They diss me. They diss me all the time.

1115
01:25:53,148 --> 01:25:56,766
I'd be fat. I can't... I know,
it's not even like I can't trust you.

1116
01:25:56,902 --> 01:25:58,813
It's just you can't trust men
in general,

1117
01:25:58,945 --> 01:26:02,437
even, even if they're new men
and they're you.

1118
01:26:02,574 --> 01:26:07,284
Even if they're like you,
you still can't trust them.

1119
01:26:07,412 --> 01:26:10,370
I understand what
you're trying to say, but I don't agree.

1120
01:26:10,499 --> 01:26:15,584
I'm a new man. I'm a man for the "90s.
I'm ward cleaver.

1121
01:26:15,712 --> 01:26:18,294
And then, you being you,
you'd be all sensitive,

1122
01:26:18,423 --> 01:26:22,166
and you'd go,
"how are we gonna tell Courtney?"

1123
01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:24,509
Meanwhile, I've ruined my career,
ruined my life,

1124
01:26:24,638 --> 01:26:26,219
become the most hated woman
in America.

1125
01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:28,384
You were already the most hated woman
in America.

1126
01:26:28,517 --> 01:26:29,677
What?

1127
01:26:29,810 --> 01:26:32,847
You and roseanne barr tied for being
the most hated woman in America.

1128
01:26:32,979 --> 01:26:34,469
Ok, I married Bobby sherman,

1129
01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:37,143
I'm the most hated woman,
ruined my body,

1130
01:26:37,275 --> 01:26:41,769
not played the reading festival this
year when I could've kicked your ass.

1131
01:26:41,905 --> 01:26:44,021
You should still play
the reading festival.

1132
01:26:44,157 --> 01:26:46,614
Oh, yeah. So I should just play
the reading festival.

1133
01:26:46,743 --> 01:26:48,779
- Dive into the crowd.
- Right, that's right.

1134
01:26:48,912 --> 01:26:52,746
Shoot off a gun,
light yourself on fire.

1135
01:26:52,874 --> 01:26:58,414
Everyone wants to see this.
And this is only half of it.

1136
01:26:58,547 --> 01:27:02,256
- The rest is yet to come.
- Look. Moustache!

1137
01:27:02,384 --> 01:27:04,340
I kind of like that.

1138
01:27:05,011 --> 01:27:07,502
Free moustache rides!

1139
01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:10,805
It's a womb broom.

1140
01:27:10,934 --> 01:27:13,926
Keep it, please! El ¢

1141
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:18,726
please, Kurt, you need... this is the...

1142
01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:24,399
♪ Outshined, outshined, outshined!

1143
01:27:24,531 --> 01:27:25,987
This is the look of aberdeen.

1144
01:27:26,116 --> 01:27:28,448
Come on, look at the camera!

1145
01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:32,657
I was in Vietnam,
you weren't in Vietnam.

1146
01:27:32,789 --> 01:27:34,905
I was in vietham!

1147
01:27:35,041 --> 01:27:37,703
Look at my large breasts.

1148
01:27:38,336 --> 01:27:39,951
"Dearest sassy,

1149
01:27:40,088 --> 01:27:44,172
and whoever else is responsible for
the Kurt cobain-Courtney pig story."

1150
01:27:44,301 --> 01:27:48,635
"Your story in April's sassy about
Kurt cobain and that Courtney hag

1151
01:27:48,764 --> 01:27:50,379
truly made me want to vomit.”

1152
01:27:50,515 --> 01:27:53,552
“First of all, what could have been
a beautiful interview experience

1153
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:56,142
with Kurt cobain,
the god of love in human form,

1154
01:27:56,271 --> 01:28:00,514
was totally ruined by nasty old dirty
ms love running her big fat mouth."

1155
01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:02,561
"Who cares about her
stupid victorian house

1156
01:28:02,694 --> 01:28:06,061
or her sucky band
or how she was so obnoxious and pushy

1157
01:28:06,198 --> 01:28:08,735
that she scared poor Kurt
into going out with her?"

1158
01:28:08,867 --> 01:28:11,859
"Secondly, you guys are supposed
to be understanding and all that,

1159
01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:14,327
so what possessed you to be
so insensitive to those of us

1160
01:28:14,456 --> 01:28:16,572
who would lick the ground
Kurt cobain walked on?"

1161
01:28:16,708 --> 01:28:18,824
"You could have just mentioned
the vile Courtney,

1162
01:28:18,960 --> 01:28:22,168
but oh no, you went so far
as to show her kissing Kurt. Blech!"

1163
01:28:22,297 --> 01:28:25,164
"I will never forgive you.
Never, never, never!"

1164
01:28:25,300 --> 01:28:30,044
"Sincerely disillusioned with life,
Stacy, the Kurt slave."

1165
01:28:30,180 --> 01:28:32,171
And there's a little happy face
on the bottom.

1166
01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:35,299
"Happy face. This is not currently me,
thanks to you."

1167
01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:41,514
Why don't you interview us?
"Kurt and Courtney: Sassy ii."

1168
01:28:42,901 --> 01:28:46,359
How does it feel to be fast?

1169
01:28:46,488 --> 01:28:48,820
Like, in the fast Lane?

1170
01:28:50,867 --> 01:28:55,361
At the height of their drug abuse...

1171
01:28:55,497 --> 01:28:57,453
Damn, if I wasn't so needle sick,

1172
01:28:57,582 --> 01:29:00,699
I'd be on tour
with guns n' roses right now.

1173
01:29:03,213 --> 01:29:06,580
Me and axl would be whooping it up,
snake dancing across speakers.

1174
01:29:06,716 --> 01:29:11,176
Snake dancing across the stage together
singing nazareth songs.

1175
01:29:11,304 --> 01:29:14,421
But I'm too goddamn needle sick, man.

1176
01:29:14,558 --> 01:29:16,674
Are you fucked up, baby?

1177
01:29:21,857 --> 01:29:25,315
♪ You will see, you and me

1178
01:29:25,443 --> 01:29:28,981
♪ Kurt, please, be with me

1179
01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:36,239
♪ I want to be your girlfriend

1180
01:29:36,371 --> 01:29:42,783
♪ let me just be your girlfriend

1181
01:29:42,919 --> 01:29:46,457
♪ well, I put it in my ass
and it kind of was painful

1182
01:29:46,590 --> 01:29:50,253
♪ well, I put it in my anus
and that was heinous

1183
01:29:50,385 --> 01:29:53,218
♪ I put it in my anus
and it kind of was heinous

1184
01:29:53,346 --> 01:29:57,055
♪ but I put it in my belly
and it kind of was smelly

1185
01:29:57,183 --> 01:30:00,471
♪ and I want to be your girlfriend

1186
01:30:00,604 --> 01:30:03,937
♪ I want to be your girlfriend

1187
01:30:04,065 --> 01:30:07,307
♪ I want to ride your bratmobile, baby

1188
01:30:07,444 --> 01:30:10,607
♪ I want to know
how you really feel, yeah

1189
01:30:10,739 --> 01:30:13,526
♪ I want to ride in your bratmobile

1190
01:30:13,658 --> 01:30:17,025
♪ I want to shoot up in your bratmobiie

1191
01:30:17,162 --> 01:30:21,280
♪ cos put it in my butt
and we're having sex, but...

1192
01:30:21,416 --> 01:30:25,500
I did do heroin
when I was pregnant, and then I stopped.

1193
01:30:25,629 --> 01:30:28,086
And I knew she would be fine.

1194
01:30:28,214 --> 01:30:29,704
Come on!

1195
01:30:29,841 --> 01:30:33,299
So, he was hever concerned
that our child would have...

1196
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:36,261
I assured him
that I was built like an oxen

1197
01:30:36,389 --> 01:30:40,132
and could carry this pregnancy to term
and not have any problems.

1198
01:30:40,268 --> 01:30:42,509
But, you know, I was a young woman.

1199
01:30:42,646 --> 01:30:44,887
The pregnancy isn't the problem.

1200
01:30:45,023 --> 01:30:50,268
It's the being around a junkie while
I'm pregnant when I'm a junkie, too,

1201
01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:52,314
and I know the minute
that baby's out,

1202
01:30:52,447 --> 01:30:55,860
I'm gonna go shoot up
in celebratory fashion.

1203
01:30:55,992 --> 01:30:58,483
You know what I mean?
Like, that was our lifestyle.

1204
01:31:08,171 --> 01:31:10,253
Ten wars ago,

1205
01:31:10,382 --> 01:31:12,794
the sea monkeys were present.

1206
01:31:12,926 --> 01:31:16,214
The sea monkeys were hatched
and it begins,

1207
01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:18,962
and he said, "you little girl."

1208
01:31:19,557 --> 01:31:21,013
They found the little girl

1209
01:31:21,142 --> 01:31:25,306
stewing under his yellow
cigarette-stained fingernails.

1210
01:31:27,607 --> 01:31:32,101
♪ And if you say your prayers

1211
01:31:32,237 --> 01:31:36,697
♪ you will make god happy

1212
01:31:36,825 --> 01:31:41,194
♪ and if you do what's true

1213
01:31:41,329 --> 01:31:45,914
♪ you will make me happy

1214
01:31:46,042 --> 01:31:50,456
♪ I'll keep you in a jar

1215
01:31:50,588 --> 01:31:55,048
♪ and you will seem happy

1216
01:31:55,176 --> 01:31:59,590
♪ I'll give you breathing noles

1217
01:31:59,723 --> 01:32:05,389
♪ you will think you're happy now

1218
01:34:14,566 --> 01:34:17,399
Does that get to you,
to read things, like, you know,

1219
01:34:17,527 --> 01:34:20,519
you're dying of smack addiction
or shit like that?

1220
01:34:20,655 --> 01:34:22,737
Yeah, it makes you feel
like the kid in school

1221
01:34:22,866 --> 01:34:24,822
who gets picked on all the time.

1222
01:34:24,951 --> 01:34:28,034
Or it makes you feel
like the school slut.

1223
01:34:28,163 --> 01:34:30,529
Party on, Wayne.

1224
01:34:31,541 --> 01:34:33,202
I feel like people
want me to die

1225
01:34:33,334 --> 01:34:36,167
because it'd be the classic
rock and roll story.

1226
01:35:02,655 --> 01:35:05,237
I would like to officially
and publicly announce

1227
01:35:05,366 --> 01:35:07,448
that this is our last show.

1228
01:35:08,411 --> 01:35:11,778
There's been some pretty extreme things
written about us,

1229
01:35:11,915 --> 01:35:16,329
especially my wife,
and she thinks everybody hates her now.

1230
01:35:16,461 --> 01:35:21,376
So why don't you give her a message
and say, "Courtney, we love you"?

1231
01:35:21,507 --> 01:35:25,546
Ok? Ready? On the count of three.

1232
01:35:25,678 --> 01:35:27,589
One, two, three...

1233
01:35:27,722 --> 01:35:30,839
Courtney, we love you!

1234
01:35:30,975 --> 01:35:32,340
Thanks.

1235
01:35:46,449 --> 01:35:51,409
♪ When I was an alien

1236
01:35:51,537 --> 01:35:56,372
♪ cultures weren't opinions

1237
01:35:56,501 --> 01:36:01,495
♪ gotta find a way,
a better way, when I'm there

1238
01:36:01,631 --> 01:36:06,375
♪ gotta find a way, a better way,
a better way

1239
01:36:06,511 --> 01:36:11,426
♪ gotta find a way, a better way,
when I'm there

1240
01:36:11,557 --> 01:36:15,641
♪ gotta find a way, a better way,
a better way

1241
01:36:26,698 --> 01:36:31,567
♪ Just because you're paranoid

1242
01:36:31,703 --> 01:36:36,823
♪ don't mean they're not after you

1243
01:36:36,958 --> 01:36:44,958
♪ gotta find a way, a better way,
when I'm there

1244
01:36:52,140 --> 01:36:56,930
♪ Gotta find a way, a better way,
a better way

1245
01:38:18,476 --> 01:38:20,432
Hi.

1246
01:38:20,561 --> 01:38:23,928
Hi. How you doing?

1247
01:38:25,400 --> 01:38:26,936
Are you getting suspicious

1248
01:38:27,068 --> 01:38:29,935
with this weird electronic device
in your face?

1249
01:38:30,071 --> 01:38:34,986
Staring right at it. Wait,
what do you see in there? Nothing.

1250
01:38:35,451 --> 01:38:40,411
Would you show your butt for the cam...?
Oh, a little wet, ok. A little pee.

1251
01:38:40,540 --> 01:38:43,498
That is most definitely
amphibian.

1252
01:38:44,544 --> 01:38:45,875
Don't look at me. Don't...

1253
01:38:46,003 --> 01:38:48,085
Frances, this is your real
problem.

1254
01:38:48,214 --> 01:38:50,250
Everywhere daddy looks, you won't look.

1255
01:38:50,383 --> 01:38:53,500
- = hi, hi.
- Look at dad.

1256
01:39:11,696 --> 01:39:15,780
This is the happiest baby
I've ever seen. Don't you think?

1257
01:39:15,908 --> 01:39:20,493
No! No, she's got
lots of things in store for her.

1258
01:39:20,621 --> 01:39:23,454
You want to be a star
for a while and I'll film?

1259
01:39:23,583 --> 01:39:24,823
You want to be the star?

1260
01:39:29,881 --> 01:39:32,714
Fly. Want to fly?

1261
01:39:32,842 --> 01:39:35,879
Fly?

1262
01:39:37,221 --> 01:39:38,586
Nose.

1263
01:39:39,515 --> 01:39:41,096
Tastes good?

1264
01:39:46,606 --> 01:39:50,349
Want to barf in my mouth again?
Three times is the charm.

1265
01:39:51,903 --> 01:39:54,144
- Are you getting all this?
- Yes!

1266
01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:56,862
- Aren't we lucky?
- I know.

1267
01:40:34,987 --> 01:40:37,569
Are you worried
about the kind of mistakes

1268
01:40:37,698 --> 01:40:40,189
that might have been made
when you were growing up

1269
01:40:40,326 --> 01:40:44,319
that sort of impacts
on how you deal with her situation?

1270
01:40:44,455 --> 01:40:49,495
No. My father and I
are completely different people.

1271
01:40:49,627 --> 01:40:55,122
I know that I'm capable of showing
a lot more affection than my dad was.

1272
01:40:55,258 --> 01:40:58,591
I mean, even if Courtney
and I were to get a divorce,

1273
01:40:58,719 --> 01:41:02,382
I would never allow us
to be in a situation

1274
01:41:02,515 --> 01:41:06,804
where there are bad vibes
between us in front of her.

1275
01:41:06,936 --> 01:41:09,018
If there's anything
we're determined to do,

1276
01:41:09,146 --> 01:41:12,138
it's to give Frances
as much love as we can.

1277
01:41:12,275 --> 01:41:18,066
I mean, if anything is going to stop me
from pursuing this rock and roll thing,

1278
01:41:18,197 --> 01:41:19,528
it's going to be her

1279
01:41:19,657 --> 01:41:23,491
because I don't want her
to be screwed up because of it.

1280
01:41:24,579 --> 01:41:26,945
I don't know what's going
to happen in the next few years.

1281
01:41:27,081 --> 01:41:28,491
It's kind of scary.

1282
01:41:41,679 --> 01:41:44,762
- I dropped it.
- Mommy's loud.

1283
01:41:44,890 --> 01:41:48,098
I'm loud.
Oh, who's a big crybaby?

1284
01:41:48,227 --> 01:41:51,515
Oh, look at that.
She's... she's kind of upset!

1285
01:41:51,647 --> 01:41:55,310
Ok, let's get her naked.
That's what I want. I want you naked.

1286
01:41:55,443 --> 01:41:58,776
Nirvana,
who the fuck do you think you are?

1287
01:41:58,904 --> 01:42:00,986
- Ew!
- Seeing your interviews

1288
01:42:01,115 --> 01:42:06,155
makes me think you guys are the most
immature pieces of trash ever made.

1289
01:42:06,287 --> 01:42:08,198
If you assholes
could ever write anything

1290
01:42:08,331 --> 01:42:11,619
that could come close
to anything guns n' roses has written,

1291
01:42:11,751 --> 01:42:13,036
maybe you could talk.

1292
01:42:13,169 --> 01:42:16,582
But until you sell
a few billion more albums,

1293
01:42:16,714 --> 01:42:19,421
take your head out of your asses
and smell the air.

1294
01:42:19,550 --> 01:42:22,041
It smells like guns n' roses.

1295
01:42:22,178 --> 01:42:26,217
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

1296
01:42:26,349 --> 01:42:28,556
Ok, enough of cute voices.

1297
01:42:28,684 --> 01:42:30,766
Leave me alone, I have to read this now.

1298
01:42:30,895 --> 01:42:32,931
Especially you! Don't look at me.

1299
01:42:33,064 --> 01:42:35,897
Don't look at me. Hey, yeah.

1300
01:42:56,379 --> 01:43:00,042
In an isolation tank

1301
01:43:00,174 --> 01:43:04,759
on 30 hits of demerol,

1302
01:43:04,887 --> 01:43:07,094
as new age music

1303
01:43:07,223 --> 01:43:11,842
poisons the scarce, humid air.

1304
01:43:45,469 --> 01:43:49,007
Tonight from Hollywood,
we bring you a most unusual broadcast,

1305
01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:50,550
starring a famous radio couple

1306
01:43:50,683 --> 01:43:53,846
who have never before appeared
in a story of this kind.

1307
01:44:21,297 --> 01:44:24,130
This is Kurt cobain.

1308
01:44:24,258 --> 01:44:26,795
I have a lot of things to say to you.

1309
01:44:26,927 --> 01:44:29,760
A lot of fucking things to say to you.

1310
01:44:29,889 --> 01:44:32,972
You parasitic little fucking cunt.

1311
01:44:33,100 --> 01:44:35,557
You're not writing about my band.

1312
01:44:35,686 --> 01:44:40,430
You're writing about
how jealous you are of my wife.

1313
01:44:40,566 --> 01:44:45,026
You have absolutely no fucking idea
what you're doing.

1314
01:44:45,154 --> 01:44:47,566
You will find out.

1315
01:44:47,698 --> 01:44:53,193
I don't care if this is a recorded
threat. I'm at the end of my rope.

1316
01:44:53,329 --> 01:44:55,991
I've never been more fucking serious
in my life.

1317
01:46:45,065 --> 01:46:48,603
Everything we do to
develop personal courage, confidence,

1318
01:46:48,736 --> 01:46:50,772
and belief in our own abilities.

1319
01:46:50,905 --> 01:46:52,987
Make your determination so strong

1320
01:46:53,115 --> 01:46:56,152
that it will eliminate
any situation or circumstance

1321
01:46:56,285 --> 01:46:58,742
which stands in the way of your goal.

1322
01:46:59,580 --> 01:47:01,571
Check, check,
check, check, check.

1323
01:48:02,017 --> 01:48:04,508
This looks just like
the metallica video.

1324
01:48:04,645 --> 01:48:07,136
This is part of your rockumentary.

1325
01:48:07,272 --> 01:48:08,728
I think this album is a...

1326
01:48:08,857 --> 01:48:11,564
It really expresses
the way we feel inside.

1327
01:48:11,694 --> 01:48:13,730
You can't just do
what you do on stage.

1328
01:48:13,862 --> 01:48:15,853
You can't. You're making an album.

1329
01:48:26,917 --> 01:48:29,704
Frances!
Frances, Frances, Frances!

1330
01:48:30,587 --> 01:48:31,952
Ah!

1331
01:48:34,425 --> 01:48:36,211
Ok, ok.

1332
01:48:36,343 --> 01:48:39,210
I have to... they're calling me.
I have to work now. Take care, baby.

1333
01:48:39,346 --> 01:48:42,679
Well, rock on!
Daddy's got to go rock!

1334
01:48:54,862 --> 01:48:58,571
♪ Teenage angst
has paid off well

1335
01:48:58,699 --> 01:49:02,783
♪ now I'm bored and old

1336
01:49:02,911 --> 01:49:06,620
♪ self-appointed judges judge

1337
01:49:06,749 --> 01:49:09,365
♪ more than they have sold

1338
01:49:10,878 --> 01:49:14,746
♪ if she floats then she is not

1339
01:49:14,882 --> 01:49:18,795
♪ a witch like we had thought

1340
01:49:18,927 --> 01:49:22,465
♪ a down payment on another

1341
01:49:22,598 --> 01:49:27,012
♪ one at Salem's lot

1342
01:49:27,144 --> 01:49:30,181
you said before, let's make
a record to lose most of your audience.

1343
01:49:30,314 --> 01:49:32,555
I was in the beginning,
about a year and a half ago.

1344
01:49:32,691 --> 01:49:34,477
I was completely fed up
with the whole thing.

1345
01:49:34,610 --> 01:49:36,771
I didn't want to be a rock star at all.

1346
01:49:36,904 --> 01:49:39,395
It was just...
It was freaking me out, you know?

1347
01:49:39,531 --> 01:49:43,115
But I've had two years to recuperate.

1348
01:49:43,786 --> 01:49:49,156
♪ I hat legendary divorce is such a bore

1349
01:49:51,210 --> 01:49:54,668
♪ as my bones grew they did hurt

1350
01:49:54,797 --> 01:49:57,459
♪ iney hurt really bad

1351
01:49:58,342 --> 01:50:01,709
♪ I tried hard to have a father

1352
01:50:01,845 --> 01:50:05,588
♪ but instead I had a dad

1353
01:50:05,724 --> 01:50:09,137
♪ I just want you to know that I

1354
01:50:09,269 --> 01:50:12,853
♪ don't hate you any more

1355
01:50:12,981 --> 01:50:16,439
♪ here is nothing I could say

1356
01:50:16,568 --> 01:50:19,981
♪ that I haven't thought before

1357
01:50:21,323 --> 01:50:28,740
♪ serve the servants, oh no

1358
01:50:28,872 --> 01:50:31,488
♪ serve the servants

1359
01:50:31,625 --> 01:50:37,245
♪ I hat legendary divorce is such a bore

1360
01:50:46,682 --> 01:50:48,343
Nirvana's third album, in utero,

1361
01:50:48,475 --> 01:50:50,261
a record with a decidedly
hard-edged sound,

1362
01:50:50,394 --> 01:50:52,555
courtesy of Maverick producer,
Steve albini,

1363
01:50:52,688 --> 01:50:55,930
will make its debut at number one
on Monday's new billboard pop chart.

1364
01:50:56,483 --> 01:50:59,816
Nirvana will be starting a us tour
at the Arizona state fair.

1365
01:51:12,207 --> 01:51:16,246
♪ Happy birthday to you

1366
01:51:16,378 --> 01:51:21,088
♪ happy birthday, dear Frances

1367
01:51:21,216 --> 01:51:25,425
♪ happy birthaay to you

1368
01:51:26,763 --> 01:51:31,006
you're one!
You're one! One year old!

1369
01:51:32,227 --> 01:51:34,684
- Ok, what's this?
- We got something to do.

1370
01:51:34,813 --> 01:51:38,806
This is great! Alright!

1371
01:51:38,942 --> 01:51:42,150
Kurt! You can't leave! Come back!

1372
01:51:44,114 --> 01:51:46,150
Would you like some cake?

1373
01:51:47,534 --> 01:51:49,866
I'm not opening this till you come back.

1374
01:51:57,336 --> 01:52:00,703
Kurt? = I'm bored.

1375
01:52:00,839 --> 01:52:04,331
Kurt?
It's Frances's first haircut.

1376
01:52:04,468 --> 01:52:07,926
Alright, I'm going to take
the chair out. Put her on the throne.

1377
01:52:08,055 --> 01:52:09,386
Let me do that.

1378
01:52:09,514 --> 01:52:11,175
Should I do it right here?

1379
01:52:12,392 --> 01:52:15,350
Kurt? Sit her on the throne.
Where's the scissors? You got 'em?

1380
01:52:15,479 --> 01:52:17,936
- Somebody's gotta hold her.
- I can do it.

1381
01:52:18,065 --> 01:52:20,397
No, I'm doing the haircut.
Yes, I am!

1382
01:52:20,525 --> 01:52:22,015
You aren't very still with her.

1383
01:52:22,152 --> 01:52:24,143
Yes, I am.
I'm doing the haircut.

1384
01:52:26,990 --> 01:52:28,981
I don't really talk, just...

1385
01:52:29,117 --> 01:52:30,857
Jesus Christ.

1386
01:52:31,453 --> 01:52:33,318
- Ok.
- You are such a good baby.

1387
01:52:33,455 --> 01:52:35,241
Shall I go down and get a bowl?

1388
01:52:35,374 --> 01:52:39,083
Will you try and find
the classical station on there?

1389
01:52:39,211 --> 01:52:41,543
This is your cartier comb.

1390
01:52:41,672 --> 01:52:44,459
That's right.

1391
01:52:51,473 --> 01:52:54,510
You haven't been eating a lot.
You don't feel like a bloated child.

1392
01:52:54,643 --> 01:52:57,680
Yeah, you gotta
force her to eat lately.

1393
01:52:57,813 --> 01:52:59,269
She's been sick.

1394
01:52:59,398 --> 01:53:01,730
Well, you really
have to force her to eat.

1395
01:53:01,858 --> 01:53:03,394
She's not... she's not motivated.

1396
01:53:03,527 --> 01:53:06,644
We don't have any milk
in the house either.

1397
01:53:06,780 --> 01:53:09,897
I'm tired of telling everyone.

1398
01:53:12,786 --> 01:53:14,151
It's, like, a big deal.

1399
01:53:14,288 --> 01:53:18,122
I'm so tired. Can't keep my eyes open.

1400
01:53:18,250 --> 01:53:19,330
Stop it!

1401
01:53:19,459 --> 01:53:23,122
Kurt, you don't want our daughter
to see you behaving like this, on drugs.

1402
01:53:23,255 --> 01:53:27,589
- I'm not on drugs! I'm tired!
- Do you have more teeth?

1403
01:53:33,015 --> 01:53:35,757
See? See'? Wife beating.

1404
01:53:36,768 --> 01:53:38,429
Here we go.

1405
01:53:43,734 --> 01:53:47,067
Oh, my pretty girly locks!

1406
01:53:47,195 --> 01:53:50,187
You look so gorgeous.
You won't be able to believe it.

1407
01:53:50,324 --> 01:53:54,904
You won't be able to believe it.

1408
01:53:55,037 --> 01:53:58,780
♪ Amazing grace!

1409
01:53:58,915 --> 01:54:03,579
♪ How sweef the sound

1410
01:54:03,712 --> 01:54:11,710
♪ that saved a wretch like me

1411
01:54:14,097 --> 01:54:20,218
♪ I once was lost

1412
01:54:20,354 --> 01:54:25,940
♪ but now am found

1413
01:54:26,068 --> 01:54:28,605
♪ was blind

1414
01:54:28,737 --> 01:54:34,653
♪ but now I see

1415
01:54:40,290 --> 01:54:44,750
It just... every week, it got worse.

1416
01:54:44,878 --> 01:54:48,962
And sometimes he would come home,
I think, to hide.

1417
01:54:50,759 --> 01:54:56,629
He started getting sores and he
was losing weight and nodding out and...

1418
01:54:57,808 --> 01:55:00,595
I was pretty sure he knew I knew,

1419
01:55:00,727 --> 01:55:04,891
but I decided one time
to just confront him.

1420
01:55:05,023 --> 01:55:08,060
And so I went up to his bedroom,

1421
01:55:08,193 --> 01:55:10,184
and he was sitting
on the side of the bed.

1422
01:55:10,320 --> 01:55:13,153
And he was crying
because I had just arrived,

1423
01:55:13,281 --> 01:55:17,069
and he knew it was breaking my heart.

1424
01:55:18,328 --> 01:55:19,989
But l... and I talked to him about it

1425
01:55:20,122 --> 01:55:23,455
and everything that I had learned
about heroin.

1426
01:55:23,583 --> 01:55:25,665
And I asked him if he was at the stage

1427
01:55:25,794 --> 01:55:29,286
where he was addicted
to also the needle prick.

1428
01:55:29,423 --> 01:55:32,039
And he burst into tears.

1429
01:55:33,969 --> 01:55:36,255
And he... he was just ashamed.

1430
01:56:04,499 --> 01:56:08,287
One of the songs that actually,
I really liked on in utero,

1431
01:56:08,420 --> 01:56:12,663
but which you took off,
was I hate myself and want to die.

1432
01:56:12,799 --> 01:56:16,166
How literal is that song
in terms of the title?

1433
01:56:16,303 --> 01:56:19,841
As literal as a joke can be,
I mean...

1434
01:56:19,973 --> 01:56:21,679
Nothing more than a joke.

1435
01:56:21,808 --> 01:56:24,049
What kind of... who were you
playing the joke on?

1436
01:56:24,186 --> 01:56:26,802
Cos I have to admit,
my first reaction was, you know,

1437
01:56:26,938 --> 01:56:29,520
either this is
really intensely satirical

1438
01:56:29,649 --> 01:56:32,607
or there's some
really dark shit happening here.

1439
01:56:58,720 --> 01:57:02,008
I'm really thankful
for a lot of things.

1440
01:57:02,140 --> 01:57:05,007
My family, my child,

1441
01:57:05,727 --> 01:57:11,472
and every month,
I come to more optimistic conclusions.

1442
01:57:11,608 --> 01:57:14,816
Do you find that
you're getting happier in general?

1443
01:57:16,446 --> 01:57:19,153
I hope I don't become
so blissful that I lose...

1444
01:57:19,282 --> 01:57:20,647
Become boring?

1445
01:57:20,784 --> 01:57:26,029
Yeah, become boring, or I lose
my edge, or whatever it is, you know?

1446
01:57:26,164 --> 01:57:29,406
And who knows? I don't have
any new songs right now,

1447
01:57:29,543 --> 01:57:32,330
so I'm starting from scratch
for the first time.

1448
01:57:32,462 --> 01:57:34,248
Iabula rasa.
Ought to be interesting.

1449
01:57:34,381 --> 01:57:35,621
Yeah.

1450
01:57:35,757 --> 01:57:37,964
Is there a little fear
of the unknown?

1451
01:57:38,093 --> 01:57:40,425
Yeah. Definitely.

1452
01:57:42,138 --> 01:57:44,845
Check, check, check,
check, check, check.

1453
01:57:46,518 --> 01:57:50,511
Turn both guitars down now.
They're too loud.

1454
01:57:51,273 --> 01:57:54,765
Scott, you know that goofy ass stuff

1455
01:57:54,901 --> 01:57:58,689
that they have at music stores
called finger ease?

1456
01:57:58,822 --> 01:58:00,813
It's like an anal gel.

1457
01:58:00,949 --> 01:58:04,157
If I could just put some on this string.

1458
01:58:04,286 --> 01:58:07,278
Yeah, it's called finger ease.
Yeah, it's like a roll-on.

1459
01:58:07,414 --> 01:58:12,033
So I just need it on one string.
God, I'm being picky today.

1460
01:58:13,378 --> 01:58:14,413
Amy!

1461
01:58:16,881 --> 01:58:18,712
Will you guys, like...

1462
01:58:18,842 --> 01:58:22,209
Will you and Janet and everybody
that I know sit in the front

1463
01:58:22,345 --> 01:58:24,085
so I can look at you?

1464
01:58:24,222 --> 01:58:26,634
Cos I hate strangers.

1465
01:58:27,475 --> 01:58:29,841
One, two, three.

1466
01:58:36,359 --> 01:58:37,940
Thank you.

1467
01:58:41,740 --> 01:58:43,321
Any requests?

1468
01:58:43,450 --> 01:58:45,736
- Teen spirit.
- Sliver.

1469
01:58:45,869 --> 01:58:48,076
Drain you.

1470
01:58:49,205 --> 01:58:50,490
Serve the servants.

1471
01:58:50,624 --> 01:58:54,116
Remember the little black bird
on Davey and goliath?

1472
01:58:54,252 --> 01:58:55,367
The little what?

1473
01:58:55,503 --> 01:58:57,915
Black bird on Davey and goliath
singing Kumbaya.

1474
01:58:58,048 --> 01:59:00,004
No, I don't remember the little bird.

1475
01:59:00,133 --> 01:59:03,466
Remember that really evil episode
where he was really mad at this kid

1476
01:59:03,595 --> 01:59:05,756
and he had all these visions
of how he was going to...

1477
01:59:05,889 --> 01:59:08,255
"First, I'm going to
take him up to a hill

1478
01:59:08,391 --> 01:59:11,929
and tie him to a tree
and tar and feather him!"

1479
01:59:12,062 --> 01:59:15,270
It was evil.
That wasn't Christian at all!

1480
01:59:33,833 --> 01:59:38,076
♪ What else should I be?

1481
01:59:38,213 --> 01:59:41,205
♪ All apologies

1482
01:59:42,592 --> 01:59:45,709
♪ what else should I say?

1483
01:59:46,971 --> 01:59:50,088
♪ Everyone is gay

1484
01:59:51,393 --> 01:59:54,556
♪ what else should I write?

1485
01:59:55,772 --> 01:59:58,730
♪ I don't have the right

1486
02:00:00,151 --> 02:00:03,063
♪ what else should I be?

1487
02:00:04,572 --> 02:00:07,939
♪ All apologies

1488
02:00:10,078 --> 02:00:12,160
♪ in the sun

1489
02:00:12,288 --> 02:00:16,076
♪ in the sun I feel as one

1490
02:00:16,668 --> 02:00:21,836
♪ in the sun

1491
02:00:26,594 --> 02:00:28,801
♪ buried

1492
02:00:35,478 --> 02:00:37,560
♪ Buried

1493
02:00:37,689 --> 02:00:39,771
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

1494
02:00:48,658 --> 02:00:56,658
♪ All in all is all we are

1495
02:01:27,113 --> 02:01:29,855
- What do you want?
- 1 don't know.

1496
02:01:29,991 --> 02:01:32,073
Do you want
to go play someplace?

1497
02:01:32,202 --> 02:01:34,944
- Yeah.
- What do you want to do?

1498
02:01:35,079 --> 02:01:37,821
I'm gonna play tape recorders.

1499
02:01:47,884 --> 02:01:50,375
- Frances?
- Christmas day, 1993.

1500
02:01:50,512 --> 02:01:52,719
Frances bean cobain.

1501
02:01:54,557 --> 02:01:57,299
I'm thirsty.

1502
02:02:00,104 --> 02:02:02,390
Yabba dabba doo!

1503
02:02:02,524 --> 02:02:04,560
This is nice!

1504
02:02:05,485 --> 02:02:08,352
Johnny rotten, Leonard Cohen,
led zeppelin and the Beatles.

1505
02:02:08,488 --> 02:02:09,819
That's you.

1506
02:02:11,533 --> 02:02:13,364
Did you say Bob Dylan?

1507
02:02:13,493 --> 02:02:17,577
You don't tell stories the way he does,
but... I mean...

1508
02:02:17,705 --> 02:02:19,661
You mean, like this?

1509
02:02:19,958 --> 02:02:24,543
Every... now and then...

1510
02:02:24,671 --> 02:02:28,084
Things I know about.

1511
02:02:34,222 --> 02:02:37,134
I feel kind of happy right now.

1512
02:02:37,267 --> 02:02:38,848
Yeah, I do, too.

1513
02:02:41,729 --> 02:02:44,687
We're all sensitive
to ridicule and shame.

1514
02:02:45,400 --> 02:02:48,858
But it seemed to me,
having gone through his materials,

1515
02:02:48,987 --> 02:02:52,150
that he was hyper-sensitive,

1516
02:02:52,282 --> 02:02:54,113
felt criticism, felt praise,

1517
02:02:54,242 --> 02:02:56,858
felt things a little more intensely.

1518
02:02:56,995 --> 02:03:00,032
Probably.
You know, he was so sensitive

1519
02:03:00,164 --> 02:03:05,750
that one time that I thought about
cheating on him, he fucking must...

1520
02:03:05,879 --> 02:03:07,710
He must have been psychic or something.

1521
02:03:07,839 --> 02:03:11,172
I thought about it.
I didn't do it, but I thought about it.

1522
02:03:11,301 --> 02:03:13,007
You never cheated on Kurt?

1523
02:03:13,136 --> 02:03:15,343
No, but I almost did one time,
and he knew it.

1524
02:03:15,471 --> 02:03:17,257
And I don't know how he knew it.

1525
02:03:17,390 --> 02:03:19,176
I have no idea how he knew it.

1526
02:03:19,309 --> 02:03:23,643
I didn't... the plan didn't
ever go anywhere.

1527
02:03:23,771 --> 02:03:26,262
So, it was just... nothing happened,

1528
02:03:26,399 --> 02:03:33,567
but I was tired and I am... I'm not...

1529
02:03:33,698 --> 02:03:36,235
I wasn't as monogamous as he is.

1530
02:03:36,367 --> 02:03:39,951
I'm a big flirt.
So, I flirt with chairs.

1531
02:03:40,079 --> 02:03:42,411
But I never, never cheated on him.

1532
02:03:42,540 --> 02:03:45,577
But I certainly thought about it
one time in London.

1533
02:03:46,127 --> 02:03:47,708
And I could've done it.

1534
02:03:47,837 --> 02:03:54,128
And the response to it
was he took 67 rohypnols

1535
02:03:54,260 --> 02:03:57,798
and ended up in a coma because
I thought about cheating on him.

1536
02:03:57,931 --> 02:04:00,138
I mean, fuck! You're kidding.

1537
02:04:01,434 --> 02:04:04,642
I didn't even make
the phone call to do it.

1538
02:04:04,771 --> 02:04:08,389
So why do you think he chose
that night to try to take his life?

1539
02:04:08,524 --> 02:04:10,389
Was it because he felt rejected?

1540
02:04:11,653 --> 02:04:16,397
I think he would see it more as
like severe betrayal than rejection,

1541
02:04:16,532 --> 02:04:17,988
you know what I mean?

1542
02:04:40,556 --> 02:04:43,514
♪ My girl, my girl

1543
02:04:43,643 --> 02:04:46,726
♪ don't lie to me

1544
02:04:46,854 --> 02:04:51,769
♪ iell me where did you sleep
last night?

1545
02:04:52,860 --> 02:04:56,193
♪ In the pines, in the pines

1546
02:04:56,322 --> 02:04:59,439
♪ where the sun don't ever shine

1547
02:04:59,575 --> 02:05:04,820
♪ I would shiver
the whole night through

1548
02:05:06,624 --> 02:05:09,411
♪ my girl, my girl

1549
02:05:09,544 --> 02:05:12,627
♪ where will you go?

1550
02:05:12,755 --> 02:05:17,875
♪ I'm going where the cold wind biows

1551
02:05:19,470 --> 02:05:22,587
♪ in the pines, in the pines

1552
02:05:22,724 --> 02:05:26,057
♪ where the sun don't ever shine

1553
02:05:26,185 --> 02:05:31,100
♪ I would shiver
the whole night through

1554
02:05:32,734 --> 02:05:39,196
♪ her husband was a hara-working man

1555
02:05:39,323 --> 02:05:44,568
♪ just about a mile from here

1556
02:05:46,080 --> 02:05:52,622
♪ his head was found in a driving wheel

1557
02:05:52,754 --> 02:05:57,999
♪ but his body never was found

1558
02:06:02,722 --> 02:06:05,885
♪ don't lie to me

1559
02:06:06,017 --> 02:06:11,057
♪ iell me where did you sleep
last night?

1560
02:06:12,648 --> 02:06:15,890
♪ In the pines, in the pines

1561
02:06:16,027 --> 02:06:19,235
♪ where the sun don't ever shine

1562
02:06:19,363 --> 02:06:25,450
♪ I would shiver
the whole night through

1563
02:06:25,953 --> 02:06:29,195
♪ my girl, my girl

1564
02:06:29,332 --> 02:06:32,495
♪ where will you go?

1565
02:06:32,627 --> 02:06:37,792
♪ I'm going where the cold wind biows

1566
02:06:39,258 --> 02:06:42,591
♪ in the pines, in the pines

1567
02:06:42,720 --> 02:06:45,803
♪ where the sun don't shine

1568
02:06:45,932 --> 02:06:50,016
♪ 1'd shiver

1569
02:06:50,853 --> 02:06:53,435
♪ I'he whole

1570
02:06:55,525 --> 02:07:01,646
♪ night through

1571
02:07:33,146 --> 02:07:34,886
Thank you.

1572
02:08:06,637 --> 02:08:08,969
♪ Ain't it a shame
to go fishing on a Sunday

1573
02:08:09,098 --> 02:08:11,054
♪ ain't it a shame?

1574
02:08:11,184 --> 02:08:13,266
♪ Ain't it a shame
to go fishing on a Sunday

1575
02:08:13,394 --> 02:08:15,430
♪ ain't it a shame?

1576
02:08:15,563 --> 02:08:17,428
♪ Ain't it a shame
to go fishing on a Sunday

1577
02:08:17,565 --> 02:08:19,851
♪ when you got monaay,
Tuesday, Wednesday

1578
02:08:19,984 --> 02:08:21,815
♪ oh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

1579
02:08:21,944 --> 02:08:23,900
♪ ain't it a shame?

1580
02:08:24,030 --> 02:08:25,986
♪ Ain't it a shame
to have a drink on a Sunday

1581
02:08:26,115 --> 02:08:28,026
♪ ain't it a shame?

1582
02:08:28,159 --> 02:08:30,241
♪ Ain't it a shame
to have a drink on a Sunday

1583
02:08:30,369 --> 02:08:32,405
♪ ain't it a shame?

1584
02:08:32,538 --> 02:08:34,449
♪ Ain't it a shame
to have a drink on Sunday

1585
02:08:34,582 --> 02:08:36,823
♪ when you got monaay,
Tuesday, Wednesday

1586
02:08:36,959 --> 02:08:38,665
♪ oh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

1587
02:08:38,794 --> 02:08:46,794
♪ ain't it a shame?

1588
02:08:51,390 --> 02:08:53,881
♪ Ain't it a shame?

1589
02:08:54,018 --> 02:08:57,556
♪ Shame, shame, shame!

1590
02:09:38,521 --> 02:09:40,762
♪ Load up on guns

1591
02:09:40,898 --> 02:09:42,604
♪ bring your friends

1592
02:09:42,733 --> 02:09:46,726
♪ it's fun to lose and to pretend

1593
02:09:46,862 --> 02:09:51,071
♪ she's over-bored and self-assured

1594
02:09:51,200 --> 02:09:55,068
♪ oh no, I know a dirty word

1595
02:09:55,204 --> 02:10:03,204
♪ hello, hello, hello, how low?

1596
02:10:07,550 --> 02:10:10,212
♪ Hello, hello, hello

1597
02:10:10,344 --> 02:10:12,175
♪ with the lights out

1598
02:10:12,305 --> 02:10:14,296
♪ it's less dangerous

1599
02:10:14,432 --> 02:10:16,343
♪ here we are now

1600
02:10:16,475 --> 02:10:18,386
♪ entertain us

1601
02:10:18,519 --> 02:10:20,384
♪ I feel stupid

1602
02:10:20,521 --> 02:10:22,477
♪ and contagious

1603
02:10:22,606 --> 02:10:24,517
♪ here we are now

1604
02:10:24,650 --> 02:10:26,561
♪ entertain us

1605
02:10:26,694 --> 02:10:28,480
♪ a mulatto

1606
02:10:28,612 --> 02:10:30,523
♪ an albino

1607
02:10:30,656 --> 02:10:32,612
♪ a mosquito

1608
02:10:32,742 --> 02:10:35,984
♪ my libido, yeah!

1609
02:10:37,163 --> 02:10:38,323
♪ Hey

1610
02:10:41,125 --> 02:10:42,831
♪ hey

1611
02:11:15,284 --> 02:11:17,240
♪ With the lights out

1612
02:11:17,370 --> 02:11:19,235
♪ it's less dangerous

1613
02:11:19,372 --> 02:11:21,237
♪ here we are now

1614
02:11:21,374 --> 02:11:23,285
♪ entertain us

1615
02:11:23,417 --> 02:11:25,328
♪ I feel stupid

1616
02:11:25,461 --> 02:11:27,292
♪ and contagious

1617
02:11:27,421 --> 02:11:29,377
♪ here we are now

1618
02:11:29,507 --> 02:11:31,293
♪ entertain us

1619
02:11:31,425 --> 02:11:33,381
♪ a mulatto

1620
02:11:33,511 --> 02:11:35,297
♪ an albino

1621
02:11:35,429 --> 02:11:37,420
♪ a mosquito

1622
02:11:37,556 --> 02:11:39,421
♪ my libido

1623
02:11:39,558 --> 02:11:41,514
♪ a denial

1624
02:11:41,644 --> 02:11:43,430
♪ a denial

1625
02:11:43,562 --> 02:11:51,562
♪ a denial

1626
02:12:02,331 --> 02:12:06,540


1627
02:12:06,669 --> 02:12:07,669